Exciting Investigation of Eastern Mysteries
by Nathan Huss
Summary: Haruhi Suzumiya has always been looking for aliens, time-travelers, espers, and sliders, but has yet to find any... at least to her knowledge.  However, who's to say that those are the only kinds of mysterious beings out there?
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't hold any rights to the series and characters portrayed within this story. Those belong to various other parties.

No one ever invites me to parties…

* * *

Exciting Investigation of Eastern Mysteries

A Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya Crossover fic

By Nathan Huss

* * *

It was a sunny and clear Sunday morning as Haruhi dragged the club out on another SOS-Dan outing. Kyon had been somewhat annoyed; not that he had anything planned, except perhaps to enjoy sleeping in, let alone getting up earlier than he would have normally. As it stood, Mikuru had dozed off several times on the train ride, Koizumi's ever-present smile was likely being maintained by caffeine, and Nagato was… well, Nagato.

Haruhi had been rather excited about this particular trip, though, and at least it was better than just wandering around town looking for undefined 'strangeness' or the like. Though he acknowledged that if it had been that he would be able to just kill time with whoever he ended up partnered with (save Haruhi herself, of course).

"Here we are!"

'There' was a somewhat out of the way shrine a good several hours train ride from home, followed by a hike through town and up a long flight of steps to the grounds. It wasn't hidden, but you would have needed to be looking for it to really notice it. Kyon thought it looked a bit shabby, though the path was swept clear. "So why are we here? Scouting another movie location or something?"

"Wrong!" Haruhi replied cheerfully, "but nice to see you're being proactive about our next film."

"How was that being 'proactive'?"

Haruhi just ignored that bit. "After the lake shrine and dragon god, I started looking around for more rumors about shrines that might have supernatural connections, and this one has had a bunch of people spotting stuff! It is our duty to see if the rumors are true or not!"

Groaning inwardly, Kyon looked again at the shrine grounds. It certainly didn't look haunted or anything. Like he had noted before it was a bit run-down, but nothing seemed unusual about it. "I don't suppose there's a reason we had to get here this early? Wouldn't it have been more traditional to check for ghosts or whatever at night?"

"If we wait too long a whole bunch of people will probably show up trying the same as us. It may be more traditional at night, but everyone knows that nothing will happen if there are too many people around."

While Kyon seriously doubted that as many people as Haruhi apparently thought… or any at all… would show up to look for ghosts or whatever, he resigned himself to a day spent doing so.

"Where should we check first, then?" Koizumi asked.

Nodding to herself, the Brigade chief started issuing orders. "It's not all that big a place, so it shouldn't be too difficult. Just pick a direction that someone else isn't covering. Someone should check the storage shack, and I'll check the shrine for the caretaker. They must have some idea about what happens to cause the rumors."

Surprisingly casual orders from her, but Kyon couldn't find anything worth arguing about (other than the trip in its entirety, but if he mentioned that he would likely suffer one of Haruhi's 'penalties'). He turned to glance at Koizumi. "I'll head around the outside on the left, I suppose."

"Then I'll head around the opposite way," the other boy said with a smile. "We can compare notes when we cross paths." Kyon nodded in response. He didn't expect that they'd find anything in the woods, except maybe some wild animals since the shrine was remote enough for those to be likely.

Mikuru looked around at the grounds. "Um… I could check the storehouse, I guess. If it isn't locked."

"… main hall," Nagato volunteered.

"Great!" Haruhi said. "Once we get those parts covered, we can work on the rest. Alright, move out!"

The search itself turned up, as expected, nothing of interest outside of a few squirrels. Kyon wasn't sure if that was a good sign or not, however. Since the incident at the lake, the possibility of Haruhi causing something similar to happen had been hanging over the heads of the Brigade. While nothing had happened as of yet, including a lack of significant Closed Space creation, the possibility was still there.

About halfway or so around the perimeter of the shrine, he met up with Koizumi. "Hey."

The Esper nodded in response. "No signs of anything out of the ordinary in my search so far. I assume the same for you?"

"Pretty much, though just to confirm you didn't know about Haruhi planning this, did you?"

Koizumi shook his head. "I did not. Why? Do you think this may have been a planned scenario like the island trip?"

Sighing, Kyon shrugged in response. "Not really, though I was hoping that it might have been. Things have been peaceful, but with Haruhi being… well, Haruhi… I don't like to think how long it would take for her to lose her good mood from the school festival and the lake. Even though it would be a bit annoying, having another fake mystery would keep things from spiraling."

Smile dimming slightly, the other boy nodded thoughtfully. "While not on such short notice for this, the Organization may be able to set up another one. Perhaps during winter break. Suzumiya would need to be placated until then, however."

Kyon nodded. It figured that even with a plan… especially an incomplete one that had only been considered… there would still have to be the usual trouble anyway. Still, it at least there was the idea to be worked on now.

Oh great… now he was actually thinking about this kind of thing on purpose.

"This place seems harmless enough," Koizumi said, returning to the previous line of conversation, "but as you say Suzumiya's state of mind could fluctuate enough to instigate something. At the very least, I haven't been able to detect anything, and I would suspect that Nagato would say something if she had."

That put Kyon in a slightly better state of mind. Nagato did not usually speak unless asked a direct question she was rather good about identifying dangers and bringing them to the attention of the rest of the group (sans Haruhi herself, of course).

The two of them continued on their respective routes around the shrine. Again, nothing but foliage and small wildlife to be found. Once Kyon reached the front of the shrine he found himself alone, apparently having made the last part of his circuit faster than Koizumi had.

Walking up to the shrine itself, Kyon climbed up the steps to the donation box and glanced inside. Worn but solid wood, with nothing but a few leaves inside. Maybe people from the nearby town didn't make trips up there all that often?

Absently, he pulled out a couple coins and tossed them in, listening to the sound of the metal clattering onto the bare bottom of the box.

"May this all blow over without unnecessary trouble," he said, clapping his hands in prayer. He figured it couldn't hurt. He seriously doubted it would actually help any, as any similar pleas he had made on other occasions had failed, but maybe he would get to be surprised by it working for once.

Fortunately enough for his peace of mind, there was no reply or sign that anyone had heard him, so he just sat down on the steps to wait for the rest of the Brigade to return.

A little while later, Kyon was startled out of watching the clouds by the return of Haruhi, Mikuru, and Yuki. Haruhi appeared to be annoyed at something as they approached, and was griping out loud to the others.

"… at all! I mean, really!" she huffed. "Would it kill them to put up a sign or something?"

Kyon groaned. It seemed Haruhi was realizing that there wasn't anything to find.

"There wasn't anything mentioned when you were looking up the shrine?" Mikuru asked tentatively.

"None! You'd think something like that would have come up."

"Something wrong?" Kyon asked as he stood up at their approach.

"There's no one here!" Haruhi said. "No priest, priestess, miko, not even a squatter or something. The house is totally empty. And even then it didn't have the right atmosphere."

He blinked. "What?"

"It's all clean. No spiderwebs, dust, broken doors or windows or floorboards. It's just… empty!"

"I don't suppose you checked the roof as well?"

Haruhi pouted. "Couldn't find a ladder…"

Kyon glanced over to Mikuru and Yuki. "What about the shack and hall?"

Mikuru shook her head. "Empty too. There were a few boxes, but they just had a couple old tools."

"… nothing," Yuki supplied for her own findings.

"What about you?" Haruhi asked, still frowning.

He shrugged. "Trees. Bushes. Squirrels."

Haruhi fumed silently for a moment, before letting out a loud "Gaaah!" Mikuru jumped as Haruhi expressed her frustration, while Yuki and Kyon just watched. "I can't believe this!"

"Well, you said you had looked-"

"Yeah, yeah, Mikuru already asked me that," Haruhi cut in before Kyon could finish. "There was nothing about the shrine not having a caretaker of any sort. Anything I found went on about how the place was 'mysterious,' but nothing like that! And we haven't even found anything, unless Koizumi ends up finding something."

"We've only made one sweep of the place," Kyon said. Not that he really wanted to encourage Haruhi on something like this, but she seemed to be descending into Closed Space-creation territory. Mikuru was glancing at Haruhi nervously, while Yuki seemed to be more focused.

Speaking of which…

"Hey, where is Koizumi, anyway?" he asked. "I passed him in back of the shrine, but he should have been back here by now."

That pulled Haruhi out of her bad mood enough that the tension lessened for the group. "Huh... You're right. Maybe he found something?"

"Wouldn't he have come back to let us know?" asked Mikuru.

"Right! As Deputy Brigade Chief he'd make sure to fulfill his duty, so something must have happened! Come on!" Haruhi immediately dashed off around the shrine.

Rather than immediately following, Kyon turned to the two remaining girls. "So, just to check, did you two really find nothing?"

Mikuru shook her head. "Really! I made sure to check, and there's nothing wrong on the time plane that I've been told about. All I found were the boxes I told Suzumiya about."

"Standard background data structures within tolerance range," supplied Nagato. "Increase resulting from Suzumiya's agitation remains within normal parameters."

"I'll take that as a 'no' as well," he sighed. He was about to start to head after Haruhi, when he noticed a slight flicker of hesitation from Nagato. "What is it?"

"… Koizumi Itsuki has just left this space-time, and cannot be located."

Kyon and Mikuru stared at the alien. "He…? Maybe he had to head into a Closed Space? Not that that's a good thing, but…" He could only hope that the Esper had vanished before Haruhi could have spotted him do so.

Nagato shook her head. "No instances of requisite data corruption detected. No signs of data manipulation correlating with previously encountered examples."

"You mean like the cave cricket?" Kyon asked.

She nodded once.

"Oh, no…"

"Hey!" Haruhi called, jogging back to them. "How can the three of you be so derelict in your responsibilities? I can't find Koizumi anywhere and… ah!" She suddenly pointed past them.

Turning, the three of them quickly spotted two young women coming up the path steps. One in a purple dress wearing a white ruffled cap over her blonde hair, the other a brunette dressed in a white blouse and brown skirt, a black hat on her own head.

They seemed just as surprised as the various Brigade members were at seeing each other and hurried over.

"Hello," the darker-haired woman greeted them. "Are you guys searching for Gensokyou as well?"

* * *

Author's Note:

Dear god but it's been a long time since I posted anything… Hope you enjoy, more to come… soon-ish.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: There's stuff in here that isn't mine, but presumably since I'm not doing this for any form of profit beyond psychological gratification I'm not in trouble for using the stuff anyway.

* * *

Exciting Investigation of Eastern Mysteries

A Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya crossover fic

By Nathan Huss

* * *

"Gen… sokyou?"

Kyon's heart sunk as Haruhi repeated what the newly-arrived woman had said. He had no idea just what 'Gensokyou' actually was, but the fact that just hearing it seemed to catch the girl's focus was a bad sign. Before Haruhi only had vague ideas to work on; now she'd likely end up with something to specifically look for.

"Oh, so you aren't here about that?" the blonde woman said, sounding a little disappointed. "Ah well… at least it's nice to see people visiting the shrine anyway, right Renko?"

"No, wait! What's Gensokyou?" Haruhi exploded. "I never heard that name when I found out about this place, but it sounds interesting!"

Kyon shook his head. Of course it was to her. It was validation (from however unknown a source) about her being right. He'd likely end up lucky if he only received an 'I told you so!' from her.

If he was lucky, it would be ONLY one 'I told you so!'

"Before we get into talking about fantasies or illusions or whatever, how about some introductions all around?" he said, trying to get at least something from this before things got out of hand.

"Good point! I'm Haruhi, Brigade Chief of the SOS-Dan! Mikuru, our mascot," she said as she glomped onto the time-traveler, resulting in a brief squeak of surprise. Haruhi continued, pointing towards Nagato. "She's Yuki, our silent member, and that's Kyon."

Said young man frowned. He was only being rated as a 'that' for now?

"There's also, Koizumi, the Deputy Chief, but he's… eh… somewhere. We were looking for him when you two showed up."

The blonde woman curtsied slightly. "I'm Han Maribel, member of my college's Sealing Club."

"Usami Renko, the other member of the Sealing Club." She waved in greeting.

Kyon digested this for a moment, before coming to a realization. "Wait, 'THE' other member? As in it's just the two of you?"

"Yep."

"Originally it was the 'Occult Studies Club,' but since we were still the only members then we decided to change the name to something else," Maribel added.

"Makes sense to me," Haruhi commented, nodding her head. Considering her usual methods of running a club, Kyon wasn't at all surprised.

Mikuru, having managed to extract herself from the beaming Haruhi's grip, spoke up. "So, what exactly does your club do?"

"Well, mainly we try to find out about any leads on Gensokyou," Renko summed up. "Plus a few other places that seem to be connected to it."

"Oho? Like what?" Haruhi leaned forward, eyes gleaming. "And what is Gensokyou, anyway?"

"It's a-" Maribel began to explain, but Renko put a hand on her shoulder to stop her.

"Look, not that Mary and I aren't appreciative of you taking interest, but you haven't said why you guys are here. Plus, didn't you say you were looking for another of your friends?"

"Thank you," Kyon murmured, glad that someone other than himself was keeping track of things like that.

"Right, Koizumi," Haruhi paused for a moment, then went right back to her usual demeanor. "You're right, we can't just leave him out of this. Ok, you two can go with Yuki that way to check for him, Kyon and Mikuru will come with me. Once we find him, then you can explain things to us."

"Haruhi…" Kyon put a hand to his forehead to stave off the mild headache he was getting.

"What is it? The sooner we-"

He cut her off. "You can't just give them orders. They aren't your subordinates or whatever." Turning to the two older girls, he gave them an apologetic smile. "Sorry, she gets like this at-"

"Kyon! Are you saying that we shouldn't do everything in our power to find a missing brigade member? And your superior at that?" Haruhi demanded, stomping up to him. "Insubordination!"

"I'm saying that you can't just order them around like that! You've only just met them, and they're in college, and-"

"We'd be alright with helping look for your friend," Maribel spoke up. "It's not that much trouble."

"See?" Haruhi puffed up at the older girl's words. "They want to help!"

He felt his headache continue. "You still should ask them, rather than telling them!"

Haruhi just waved off his complaint. "That would take too long. And so is this! Now come on, we still need to find Koizumi!" With that, she grabbed his hand and marched off towards the back of the shrine grounds.

"Oi, Haruhi, let go! Or at least slow do- gah! I said slow down!"

The remaining females just watched the two of them head off.

"So…" Renko started, turning towards Mikuru and Yuki. "Are they…?"

Neither girl was quite sure how to answer that.

* * *

"Koizumi! Oi, Koizumi! Come oooooon! Where are you?"

Despite the efforts of five people (including Nagato, which only served to unease Kyon as to their lack of success) Koizumi had yet to be found. Haruhi had even forced Kyon to head into the woods and bushes around the shrine, which only ended up with him coming back out with a small collection of leaves, brambles, and twigs latched on to his clothes. Trying to call his cell phone only resulted in being immediately sent to voicemail.

Eventually they made their way back to the front of the shrine to try to figure out what else they could do. Unfortunately for the rest of the Brigade, Haruhi was now insisting that they stay close so that none of them disappeared as well. As well-intended as this was, it also meant that Kyon, Mikuru, and Yuki couldn't openly discuss anything without Haruhi overhearing. Not that Kyon felt he would likely be able to do more than listen to whatever information the Humanoid Interface told them (and only understand half of it, at most), but it still would have been more than they were able to do at the time.

In the meanwhile, Haruhi had begun pacing back and forth trying to think of any other ways to find Koizumi (which so far had only been the ever-so-advanced method of shouting loudly) while Nagato had taken out a small paperback book to read in the absence of other action. He himself was idling back on the steps leading up to the shrine's donation box, wearily watching Haruhi's pacing.

Mikuru, surprisingly, had managed to build a small rapport with the two college students, and was having a polite conversation with them. Aside from a few figurative stumbling points (such as when Renko described the 'club' as being meant for necromancers) they were getting on fairly well.

"… wish I could have brought it with me, but I dropped it and only realized after I had woken up," Maribel said, finishing up an anecdote she had been telling the younger girl.

"But it was just a dream, wasn't it?" Mikuru asked. "You wouldn't have been able to take it with you anyway."

"Ah, but I can." Maribel glanced back and forth for a moment, in what would have been a comical attempt at secrecy if she didn't have such a serious look on her face. "I can actually go to Gensokyou when I dream, and bring things back. Not all the time, but enough. I've even lost things there as well."

Kyon kept from shaking his head. He wasn't sure how true what bits he had overheard were (putting aside the fact that most of them apparently dealt with a magic-filled land that nobody… including herself… could find anyway) but it was more likely she had lost them normally.

He was trying fairly hard to believe this line of though.

Mikuru looked questioningly at Renko, who nodded. "It's how she convinced me about it. So far we've confirmed through her dreams that Gensokyou, the Netherworld, and the Moon actually exist."

"The moon?" Mikuru blinked at that particular detail. "Why would you prove the moon exists? It does."

"Ah, but there's an actual civilization on the moon!" Renko said. "We don't know much about it, but it's apparently hidden there somehow."

"So there are aliens on the moon!" Haruhi exclaimed, virtually teleporting over to the other girls. Mikuru jumped back with a startled cry. She had actually been listening? Though he shouldn't be surprised, considering what the topic had been.

Maribel nodded. "I don't know much about them, though. It's hidden, like Gensokyou. Actually, from what I've heard it's actually easier to get to from there than it is from Earth. Apparently there are some living in Gensokyou as well for some reason."

Haruhi stepped back, a look of interest clear on her face. It quickly fell away into a frown. "Oooh," she pouted. "If it weren't for Koizumi getting himself lost I would want to look for it, but so long as a member of the Brigade is missing in action I can't let myself be distracted!"

"You know, Mary," Renko started, "do you think he may have…?"

Maribel tilted her head in thought for a moment, then nodded. "It's possible. It would explain why he can't be found."

Haruhi looked back and forth between them. "What? What?"

Maribel shrugged. "Well, the reason Renko and I came here specifically is that… I can also sense where the border that separates Gensokyou from our world is. This temple is really close to it. Technically, we're just inside the border, but we don't have a way to pass through."

"The shrine, as much as we understand it, is like a door," Renko said. "Or maybe a window? Except we can't actually see through it…"

"As much as I hate to admit it, I know what you're getting at," Kyon said, holding up a hand to stop her from continuing. "You think Koizumi is somehow in this this fantasy land."

Haruhi stared at him. "Are you alright, Kyon?" She slowly grinned. "Sounds like you're starting to believe in this after all."

Sighing, he just shrugged in response. "I said I understood. Believing in something else entirely…" Not that he didn't actually believe it, considering his own experiences with Closed Space and the like, but it was the principle of the thing! Let him dream of a normal world! "And besides, we still don't have any idea what to do."

"Isn't it possible he could just come back the same way?" Mikuru asked.

"He might, but it depends on how lucky he is," Maribel said. "There are dangerous things in Gensokyou, but there are also people who would help him. There's no way of knowing which he'd run into first."

"D-dangerous?"

The blonde woman nodded. "Youkai, demons, fairies, ghosts… Some can be friendly, but there are a lot that are very…" she paused for a moment. "… traditional."

"No offence, but I'm wondering why you'd want to find the place if it has all that," Kyon said, crossing his arms.

Before either of the college students could answer, Haruhi did. "Because it's interesting! You can't just let a little danger get in the way of something like that!"

"I don't see why not. And possibly getting eaten by a kappa or something is not 'a little…'"

"Oh, the kappa don't eat people anymore, at least not that I've heard."

He looked at Maribel with a blank expression. "That's… nice to know. Really. If I encounter one I'll be sure to speak my appreciation of that fact."

"Well if you're not willing to brave possible danger for the sake of exploration and adventure, what about the rescue of a fellow Brigade member?" Haruhi scowled at him, tapping her foot. "Or are you unwilling to do that?"

Great, they were talking in circles now. "It's not like you have any idea about what to do either," he shot back.

Haruhi turned away from him, scowl softening but still on her face. "This is so stupid! Right in front of us is… and we can't even…!"

Kyon looked at her for a moment, before turning to Yuki and Mikuru. Neither of the other girls seemed like they had any real idea of what to do, though Yuki seemed to be considering something (at least as far as he could tell). Mikuru stepped forward towards Haruhi. "I'm sure Koizumi is doing fine! He's very smart, and…" she trailed off.

A breeze rustled through the trees around the shrine, filling the silence. Maribel and Renko looked on from the side, sympathetic to Haruhi's growing dejection. Mikuru was trying to comfort Haruhi as best she could, and Yuki…

Kyon blinked. Yuki was speaking something in a soft voice, unheard by the others. He stepped towards her to try to hear, and was just barely able to pick up the unintelligible (to humans, at least) rapid-fire string of sounds that she used to… why was the wind picking up?

"Nagato, what are you doing?" he asked under his breath, trying to keep the others from hearing.

"Attempting to locate hidden data files," she answered, just loud enough for him to make out. "Unknown syntax structure and increasing instability in extant data formations are preventing accurate progression… error approaching."

"… wait, what?" He needed a translator… except that even he could tell that an 'error' could not be a good thing.

"Mary, are you ok?" Renko said, drawing his attention.

"What's happening?" Maribel said, everyone turning to look at her. "The barrier is… something's happening to it!" She clung to Renko while looking around wildly.

The wind was definitely picking up now, with leaves violently blowing past the group.

"Kyon…" Mikuru started nervously, looking around them. "Eep! Nagato!"

Kyon turned, to see that Yuki had vanished. That was _definitely_ not good!

"Haruhi, Asahina-!"

He felt something tugging at him, and the world seemed to pull away. Before they fell away from his vision completely, he saw both girls staring at him while opening their mouths to shout something while in the background the two college students clung to each other.

For some reason, he was comforted by the fact that Haruhi looked just as worried as Mikuru before it all vanished…

* * *

Looking up from her tea, a girl wearing red and white blinked in confusion.

"What the hell…?"

* * *

Author's Note:

Thus it is that chapter 2 is done! Admittedly, not much actually happened here, but now there is development! Action! Exclamation points!

Anyhow, next chapter starts the escapades in Gensokyou. While I have a fair amount plotted out so far, I'm still wobbling on exactly when this is happening in the Touhou timeline. Post-Mountain of Faith at the very earliest.

And yeah, I'm shifting some things around with Maribel and Renko. Specifically the time/year and the knowledge of the Lunarians. Those details would obviously mess up the whole premise of SHnY, so out they go.

Feedback, questions, comments, and constructive criticism are welcomed. Flames will be grazed for higher score.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not own the properties of the Touhou Project or the Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya series. All unique characters and locations belonging to those respective series are used without permission, but also without intent for profit.

Is there a lost and found for witty one-liners? I think I've misplaced the one that was supposed to go here…

* * *

Exciting Investigation of Eastern Mysteries

A Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya Crossover fic

By Nathan Huss

* * *

Koizumi was, to say the least, confused and more than just a little worried.

After parting with Kyon at the back of the shrine, he had continued his own search of the premises. While, like Kyon, he sincerely doubted that there was anything actually present that would gain Haruhi's interest, the fact that he and the others in the Organization would directly deal with the fallout meant that if he could find anything that would at least assuage her boredom would save them effort and trouble further on.

Not that he had found anything more than he had told Kyon. Nor did he particularly expect to, bar some outside intervention (which could happen, but was unlikely). Still, to make his life easier it would have been nice to find some weather-worn statue, or possibly a grave marker of some sort to show to Haruhi and grab her attention. Unfortunately, nothing of the sort was to be found.

At least the surroundings were pleasant.

Having little else to do, he turned his consideration to Kyon's idea of another planned event. The island murder mystery had gone over very well when all was said and done. Perhaps a similar staging… a treasure hunt, perhaps? Not quite as exciting as a murder, but doable. Or even combining the two. The 'murder' part would obviously be taken as the game it was considering the last time, but so long as it was scripted well enough Haruhi would likely still find it enjoyable.

So would he, for that matter. It had been quite fun being a part of the conspiracy then, or should he say, a conspiracy where its exposure did not have potentially disastrous results. Perhaps he could even request a larger role in things this time around. It would be safer overall as Haruhi would be expecting it this time. Yes, this was looking like it might turn out very well… indeed…

Koizumi tilted his head. For a moment, he had caught a sense of otherness from a bit further into the forest. Quickly pulling out his cell phone, he called his line to the Organization as he began making his way through the brush towards where he had felt it.

"I sensed what seemed to be a fluctuation just now," the Esper said when the other side picked up. "Barely anything, but it may be the start of a Closed Space."

"_Nobody else picked up anything. Are you sure?_" the voice on the other end replied after a short period of muffled conferring.

"As much as I can be," Itsuki replied, pushing a stray branch out of the way. "It may have ended on its own before fully forming. Suzumiya having a small fit of pique or similar, perhaps."

"_All right. The others will be notified just in case a full one opens._"

"I'll investigate to make sure, then return to the SOS-Dan." With that, he hung up.

Now able to focus on navigating through the underbrush, Koizumi soon enough arrived at a clearing, at the center of which was a rather large oak tree. He wandered around the perimeter of the tree checking for anything. Nothing came to notice, though, and the feeling of distortion had remained absent.

Sighing with relief, Itsuki took a less critical look at the glade. This might be something to show to Haruhi. Nothing particularly mysterious about it, but the large tree would appeal to her sense of aesthetics. It could also make a nice spot to have a picnic lunch while they were there.

He made his way back to the edge of the forest to navigate back to the shrine when a wave of distortion, much stronger this time, appeared right on top of him. It only took a moment to pass, and he immediately looked around to see if he had actually been caught up in the opening Closed Space.

Except… it wasn't Closed Space. In fact, if it weren't for being able to sense something different through his Esper abilities, he would think he was actually in the normal world. The large tree was still behind him, the surrounding forest looked the same, and… most tellingly… the world had not devolved into the bland grays that usually signified the pocket realms spawned by Haruhi.

It still wasn't the real world, though. A quick glance at his cell phone, revealing that it had no reception at all despite having worked just moments before, along with his aforementioned senses, confirmed that.

As he began picking his way back to where the shrine hopefully was, Koizumi tried to determine how this place was different. It felt… compressed. Regular instances of Closed Space were large instances where reality was broken down and dissipated, followed by it expanding to consume more of the real world to make way for a new creation.

Whatever this place was it was stable, safe, and... for all intents and purposes… normal.

Except… shouldn't he have reached the shrine already?

He looked through the trees around him, trying to catch a glance of the shrine building. The clearing he had found had barely been a minute or two's hike, and it had already been at least twice that. However, no matter how he tried to get a better angle he saw nothing but more trees.

Shrugging to himself, Koizumi decided that he might as well test out the extent of his abilities in this realm, since he appeared to be stuck otherwise. With a small effort of will, and surprising little resistance, a sphere of red light formed around him. He lifted a few feet into the air with similar ease.

While the availability of his powers was a nice surprise what happened next startled the Esper even more. The normal sound of rustling leaves and branches suddenly halted completely, followed by panicked cries of "He has danmaku!" "Run for it!" All around him Koizumi spotted tiny, winged shapes dashing away through the air randomly.

"… All right, I must admit I didn't expect that," Itsuki murmured. Creatures living in the woods; expected to some degree, even in this other world. Said creatures being able to speak, in Japanese no less; not so much. At least it seemed they weren't hostile.

The Esper floated back down to the ground and dispersed the sphere. After the creatures had fled he had almost immediately caught a look at a clearing off to the side. It was possible it would be where the shrine would be/had been… or at least be a better spot to take off from rather than trying to plow through the treetops.

However, rather than finding a building or even an empty space of the same size, Itsuki discovered that there was a small lake. He was at least able to tell that it wasn't replacing the shrine's position, as between the stream feeding into the body of water and the surrounding rocky landscape it was definitely a different spot.

"Better than nothing," he mumbled as he went over to a small boulder to sit down. Picking a few twigs and briars from his clothing, he sighed, allowing himself to relax a bit. It had been a bit of work hiking through the trees, after all.

"Maybe I should request a compass if I get back," he wondered. It was much easier to get lost out here than in normal Closed Space, which typically formed in cities where one could identify by street names and such. "I suppose a GPS would be worthless, though…"

He took another look around at the small lake, admiring the peaceful view. "Much better than having to fight a Shinjin, I have to admit."

"I would imagine. Celestials tend to be trouble…"

Koizumi nearly fell off of the boulder as a distorted voice came from seeming nothing.

"Ah, I'm sorry young man… didn't mean to startle you," the voice continued.

Koizumi stood up, putting on his customary smile as he tried to figure out who or what was talking to him. "Quite alright. Am… I intruding?"

Water sloshed up the bank of the lake as a shape rose from beneath its surface. Hesitating to call up his power (as if this was a monster of some sort, it was a rather polite one he'd encountered), he once again found himself surprised as it breached into the air, revealing…

A large, bearded turtle…

Which chuckled with an old man's laugh at the look on the Esper's face, even as it continued to pull itself onto land. "Not at all, young man. It's been far too long since I've had a visitor who wasn't one of the local fairies, or some drunken youkai or Oni tripping and falling into the lake." It bowed its head. "I am Genjii."

Koizumi bowed back. "Koizumi Itsuki."

Genjii continued up until he was next to the boulder, and settled down onto the ground. "Now then… you must be an Outsider, aren't you?"

Somewhat amused at the turtle's sociability, and at the situation itself, Koizumi shrugged with a smile. "Provided I'm taking your meaning correctly, yes I am. I take it I am not the first person from 'Outside' to arrive here?"

"Ah, hardly the first, though you seem rather more collected than most."

"I've had some experience with similar circumstances, although aside from losing my way for a little and encountering some sort of winged creatures it's been much more pleasant than those occasions."

Genjii chuckled again. "Ah, the fairies playing tricks again. You were quite lucky if getting lost for a bit was all that happened. But then, this close to the shrine not many are willing to do more than that, or Lady Reimu would likely be up in arms."

"Ah, so there _is_ a shrine here," Koizumi said, relieved. He also filed away the fact that the turtle had referred to this Reimu figure with no little reverence. "I had been near one while… Outside, as you called it… and had been trying to find it when I arrived here. I wasn't sure how well things would translate over, if at all. I had been with some acquaintances at the time and even if I was the only one to end up here I would like to stay in the same general area as they had been."

"I see..." Genjii looked up at Itsuki consideringly. "You really are used to appearing in hidden lands, aren't you? Most Outside humans are usually so disoriented that they just wander farther and farther away, or stay in one spot once they lose sight of any landmarks, and get eaten."

That brought the Esper up short, hearing Genjii state such so plainly. "I thought you said that there was someone, a 'Lady Reimu' I believe, who frowned upon things of that nature."

"Oh, she does, she does. But Lady Reimu cannot be everywhere at once, and if she doesn't find someone in time there's little help for it."

Koizumi nodded. He likely had little to fear in that way, due to his powers being effective here, but for the average random person who may have ended up here, there apparently was more than sufficient danger.

"Don't worry, young man. As I said, we're close enough to the shrine that few would do such and expect to get away with it. If you like I can even take you there. Part of Lady Reimu's duties do extend to returning lost people such as yourself to their proper place."

"Oh? It would certainly be helpful, but…" He looked at the woods surrounding the lake. "There doesn't seem to be much of a path anywhere. Would you be able to get through well?"

Genjii smiled… which Itsuki privately thought was interesting to see on a chelonian face… and lifted into the air.

"I appreciate the concern, young man, but as you can see I'm able to get around quite well. Why, I even served as a mount to Lady Reimu in the time before she learned how to fly herself!" the turtle said proudly. "Just hop on, and we'll be off! Won't Lady Reimu be surprised to see old Genjii again! I wonder if she's been eating well…"

Koizumi blinked at the offer. Apparently being able to fly was more common here than one would think, though obviously not so widespread as Genjii had (naturally enough, he had to admit) thought he could not. Considering that the place had the dangers that the turtle had indicated, he decided that… at least for the moment… keeping a trump card like that would be appropriate.

"All right. If you'll excuse me just a moment," he said as he tried to figure out a suitable way to get onto the shell. Eventually he settled for just jumping onto Genjii's back from the boulder, and then sitting down from there once he had checked his balance.

"Right! Off we go, young Koizumi." With that, the two rose up high above the treetops and sped away.

From this new vantage point, Koizumi took the time to survey the area. He could already see the shrine… and those fairies must have been rather good at whatever they did, considering how far away they were, and how long it would take to find one's way back on foot. Further down in the valley he could spot what appeared to be a rather rustic-style village, and some ways beyond it what appeared to be a decent sized lake if he had the distance right. A large mountain rose off to the side, framing another part of the valley, and-

He barely realized what was happening when a sudden burst of nausea and vertigo hit him, greater in intensity than when he had first entered this 'hidden land,' and Genjii veered wildly in an attempt to stay under him. "Careful, young Koizumi! Are you alright? That was nearly… oh dear. What is that?"

Koizumi blearily looked up as a light flared up near the shrine, followed shortly after by wave of wind that swept outward, rattling his already-tenuous perch on the turtle further.

"I may be wrong, but… I… think that may… have been my… acquaintances…" he mumbled wryly, before rolling off the side of the shell.

* * *

Author's Notes:

I know "Shinjin" isn't the term used in Touhou for Celestials, but considering the limitations of the English language, and converting to and from Japanese, it works for my purposes in this situation.

It was actually somewhat frustrating to come up with an appropriate inner line-of-thought for Koizumi. How much of what is seen in the series is really him, how much is acting for the benefit of Haruhi, etc… Managed to get through it decently enough, though. At least I think I did.

I'm putting up a minor poll on my profile in relation to this fic. Mainly to see what POV(s) people would like to see written as the story progresses. Now that we have the whole cast in Gensokyou, the fun can begin. Give it a look if you have the time.

As always, reviews and constructive C&C are welcome.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: Neither the Haruhi Suzumiya franchise nor that of the Touhou Project are within my legal (or illegal) possession. I merely use the distinct personages and settings from them for the inception of a non-profit entertainment medium and scenario.

Ok, I need to stop using the thesaurus so much…

* * *

Exciting Investigation of Eastern Mysteries

A Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya Crossover fic

By Nathan Huss

* * *

He was surrounded by leaves.

Well, that wasn't totally accurate, Kyon realized as he shakily pushed himself into a sitting position. He was actually surrounded by bamboo, and had only been looking up at the leaf-filled canopy when he came to his senses.

He blinked, and looked at the small clearing he was in the middle of. Apparently he was also surrounded by a number of… wooden mallets and buckets, and stone mortars, all abandoned for the moment. And there was a certain scent…

He wobbled to his feet, and inched over to one of the closer to one of the mortars. Yep; inside he could see a large lump of mochi inside, drying out in the air. Taking a better look around, it appeared that the clearing had been abandoned very quickly considering how the mallets were strewn around and nearly all the mortars had unfinished rice cakes inside.

Pulling out his cellphone for a moment, Kyon confirmed that he was getting no reception, wherever he was. He tried to make a call anyway, as with Haruhi's potential restructuring of reality and Yuki's data powers he might be able to get through anyway. Unfortunately it didn't seem to be the case as all he got was the standard results of having no signal.

Sighing, Kyon looked around himself once more. "So. 'Gensokyou,' huh?" He received no answer, which he was somewhat thankful for.

Now the only question was what to do. He was reasonable safe and unharmed, and the fact that there was all the tools and such around meant that he wasn't stuck in the middle of absolute nowhere. He could stick around and wait for whoever had been making the sweets to come back, but if this was the place Maribel and Renko had talked about meant that, for all he knew, the mochi-makers might be some sort of demon or something… though for the life of him he couldn't recall any types that were supposed to hang around in bamboo forests, let alone the mochi part.

Plus, if it had been dangerous demons or youkai, he kind of doubted that they would have up and vanished just from him showing up.

Unless something even _more_ dangerous had shown up and he just had very bad timing.

He groaned. Now there was a line of thought that would only serve to make him paranoid.

"Yo."

Kyon immediately felt embarrassed, but at the sudden voice of someone behind him he let out a squawk of surprise and ended up tripping as he tried to turn around and get some distance from the speaker at the same time.

"Sheesh, calm down, kid," the speaker grumbled. It was a young woman… making Kyon wonder just where she got off calling him 'kid' as she looked only a few years older… with long hair that seemed to be a lighter shade of Nagato's violet. She had various ribbons and a bow tied into it, which offset the otherwise masculine appearance she gave off what with her pants and shirt.

"Sorry, just…" he began, trying to come up with an explanation for his reaction. "I was-"

"Eh, skip it. Not my problem. Outsider, right?"

… Well, that was blunt. "Excuse me?"

She sighed. "From outside Gensokyou. Clothes aren't local, plus the dazed look you've got."

Well he'd only just had the universe pulled out from under him. Again. He was entitled to a bit of-

"Like I said, not my problem. So, you want to head to the Human Village or Eientei?"

Was she even going to let him finish a thought or not? And it's not like he knew where either of those were.

"I was split up from some friends. If they're anywhere nearby…"

The woman shrugged. "Haven't seen anyone other than you and the rabbits," she said, walking over to one of the mortars and pulling out some of the mochi to take a bite. "They might end up at Eientei, so go there."

"Right. And that would be…?"

She nodded, her expression briefly flickering from vague disinterest to grudging allowance. She turned around and started walking off, motioning over her shoulder for him to follow. He reluctantly did so, as he couldn't think of a good alternative. All he hoped was that this wasn't another Ryouko.

As they exited the clearing, he heard a rustling behind them. Turning, he was puzzled to see a herd of rabbits cautiously reveal themselves from… somewhere.

Huh. Well, the woman had said that she had seen some. Though why they were hanging around a bunch of… No… It had to be a joke or-

"Hurry up, kid. You get lost now it's your own fault."

Kyon hurried after her, trying to ignore the muffled 'thumps' starting up from the clearing.

* * *

He had, eventually, realized that she had never gotten her name, though to be fair he hadn't told her his either. Kyon introduced himself as they made their way through the bamboo, but unfortunately she didn't tell him hers. He wasn't too surprised considering her gruff nature, but it was a bit annoying, especially as other than things like "Watch your step there" and "I'd walk around that if I were you, kid" she didn't say anything else for the whole trip.

After a while they reached a huge mansion. Traditional Japanese style, though the construction seemed new as far as her could tell. The woman just led him to the entrance, and jerked her thumb at the door.

"Just tell 'em Mokou brought you by. If I run across your friends I'll send them this way as well. If not, you can probably get someone to bring you to the village tomorrow."

"Ah, thank you," Kyon said, even as she turned back to the forest. Well, at least he knew her name now. Not that it made a difference as she was leaving.

Shrugging, he opened the door and walked into the courtyard. Nobody seemed to be around, so he just continued on to the main building. Really, he wondered who could have made this and why. It was pretty big, but there didn't seem to be anyone around. It was way too new for it to be abandoned (and he preferred to think that as brusk as she was Mokou wouldn't have just led him to an empty place in the middle of the forest) so unless someone just liked to throw around money at contractors…

When he got to the inner entrance and still hadn't even heard anything other than the wind through the bamboo outside the walls, Kyon sighed and slid the door open, ready for…

A doctor's waiting room?

Ok, maybe he wasn't exactly ready for that. It had chairs set along the walls, a little magazine rack (He didn't dare take a look at the covers. His sanity needed to catch up first.), and receptionist's desk… with a huge rabbit slumped behind it.

Kyon rubbed his eyes, hoping he hadn't just seen that. When he looked again, he saw that his first impression had been only partly right; it wasn't so much a rabbit as a blonde-haired girl with a rabbit-ear headpiece, her head nestled into her arms as she apparently slept. He wasn't entirely sure this was an improvement.

"Excuse me, miss?" he said tentatively. The girl just grumbled and shifted a bit in her chair. "Miss?" he repeated, louder this time.

"G'way, Miki… Wanna sleep…"

Great. This girl was… what? Nine years old or so, and someone had put her at the front desk? He supposed that maybe this place was family-owned or something and there was no one else available… though what a business like that was doing in a mansion like this...

He walked over to the sliding door past the desk and opened it, looking through to see if there were any signs for where to go. Instead he only discovered a long corridor, with dozens of more doorways leading to other rooms of unknown function. I.E.: nothing to help him get some help.

He closed the door and headed over to one of the chairs and sat down. Much as it annoyed him to just wait, he didn't have the heart to wake up the girl, and had no desire to have to explain things if he went 'exploring' down the halls and was found somewhere he shouldn't have ended up.

It was some ten minutes or so later (during which he had glanced through the magazines, finding them to mostly be at least 20 years out of date… though like the mansion itself still looking brand-new) when the door slid open and another rabbit-ear wearing young girl step through.

"All right, Midori. Your shift is-" She broke off as she spotted Kyon in his current seat, her head whipping around to the sleeper. "_Midori!_"

The blonde jolted awake, tumbling out of her chair and thumping onto the floor behind the desk. "Wha! Who?"

The new girl reached down and pulled, dragging 'Midori' up by the ear… a suspiciously well-attached rabbit ear no less.

"Ow ow ow! Stoppit! What's the matter Nobuko?"

"How long has he been sitting there?" the second girl demanded, pointing at Kyon.

"'He'? Who are you…" Midori turned her head and finally spotted him, face paling. "I… er…"

"I'm sorry," he said, not sure how to react to the panic the two girls were going through. "I was brought here by someone named Mokou. She said that-"

"Miss Mokou brought you?" Nobuko tugged on Midori's ear again (Kyon noted that as the blonde's hair swirled around from the jerking motion, she didn't seem to _have_ anything other than the rabbit ears). "How long ago?"

"Not too long… maybe ten, fifteen minutes?" he answered. "She seemed tired when I came in, so I didn't really want to disturb her when she didn't respond…"

Nobuko sighed and finally let go of Midori's ear, which the other girl started rubbing while glancing nervously between Kyon and Nobuko. "I was just a bit sleepy… Miki and I were up late, and-"

Nobuko shook her head. "Just get going. Your shift is over. Go tell Mistress Eirin we have a patient. And later I'll be letting Reisen know about you sleeping on the job."

"Eh? Aw, c'mon, she'll just bother Tewi about us having to 'act more professional.' Then Tewi'll take it out on me for ending up being bugged about it!"

"Exactly."

Grumbling something that Kyon couldn't catch, Midori hurried out of the room into the corridor. Nobuko sighed and turned to face him, her expression turning to apologetic. "Sorry about that, sir."

"It's fine," Kyon said awkwardly. "I'm not hurt or sick, though. I ended up in the middle of the forest and Mokou said I might be able to find my friends as they might have ended up here."

"Ah, you were lost? Well, Mistress Eirin will still want to see you, then. We haven't had anyone else show up that I know of, though. Where were you trying to go? Most people avoid the Forest of the Lost."

Well, with a name like that you wouldn't really be encouraging about it.

"I wasn't. I was with a bunch of friends at some shrine, then some of them disappeared, and then so did I, more or less. Next thing I know I'm in the forest here, surrounded by half-made mochi."

"Ah!" Nobuko hopped back, pointing at him. "You're an Outsider!"

Kyon sighed, shrugging. "So I've been told. I take it that tourism isn't really a feature around here?"

"In large numbers, it tends to get frowned upon," a new voice broke in. Nobuko scampered over to the desk quickly, seating herself behind it, as a tall woman entered the room. She was wearing a red and blue dress with some odd patterns on it, and a matching cap over her long silver (Not gray, Kyon noted, but actually silver in color) hair. The woman had a definite air of authority about her, and he had the fleeting feeling of a mouse facing a man in a lab coat as she looked him over.

Please let that have been just a delayed concussion or something. He had bad history with people who liked to include him in 'experiments.'

"So, you'd be the Outsider that startled the rabbits with your sudden appearance," she said. "I hope you appreciate how lucky you were; nearly anywhere else but their work clearing and you would have been fair game for any passing youkai."

Her tone left little to the imagination for what would have happened in such a situation. "Just fortunate, I suppose."

"Indeed. I am Yagokoro Eirin, head of the Yagokoro Clinic here at Eientei," she introduced herself. Maybe that idea of this being a family-run establishment wasn't too far-fetched, seeing as it shared her name. Though Kyon really doubted that the rabbit-kids were her daughters or nieces…

"Ah, I'm honored to meet you," Kyon replied. "Not that I really need a doctor or anything."

"It would be best if you still were looked at," Eirin said. "Even if you somehow ended up arriving directly in the clearing you may have picked up some injury or such during transit, and if you instead wandered there in a daze, even moreso. Some youkai use delayed poisons or curses, which might just be dormant at the moment."

Kyon paled at that thought. He was _mostly_ sure he had dropped directly into the clearing, but hadn't actually been conscious for it. Why did bad lines of thinking like that keep on having to be given to him? "You really think that may have happened?"

Eirin shrugged as she headed into the hallway, motioning for him to follow. "Well, I wouldn't actually think so. Mokou was also in the area, as you know, and they tend to avoid her. I'd just rather not rule out the possibility." Oh, all right. That was reaso- "Plus it's been so long since I had the chance to examine someone from outside Gensokyou, I can hardly pass up the opportunity now."

… Damnit.

* * *

The examination was relatively benign, if Kyon had to be honest. A few points he was somewhat uncomfortable with, but Eirin acted professionally about the whole deal, which helped put him more at ease about it. Mostly.

He did manage to get some information about Gensokyou in between instructions to "inhale, exhale, clench your fist, drink this, how many lights do you see?" and so forth. Gensokyou was a land that had been… separated from the normal world by youkai as humans stopped fearing or believing in them, to preserve their own existence. Some human demon hunters had gotten stuck inside, though, when the final barrier was set up, and their descendants were what made up the Human Village Mokou had mentioned. Kyon was surprised to hear at how peaceful the place was in spite of that, as it seemed a deal had been worked since then.

That had left a bit of a bad taste in his mouth, however. Humans who managed to slip into Gensokyou were fair game until they reached the safety of the village, and anyone who strayed too far without protection of some sort also stood a chance of being eaten. He could see, with some patiently-explained details from Eirin, why this was necessary to keep a balance of power, but the idea of people getting killed and eaten was not something he liked. Especially as it very easily could have happened to him… and could possibly happen to the rest of the Brigade.

Well, not Nagato, of course. Koizumi would likely be all right as well if he had ended up here, so long as his esper powers could work to some degree (the cave cricket incident supported that idea). Haruhi would likely just forcefully recruit any youkai she encountered into the Brigade, using her reality-bending powers. Mikuru might be in trouble, but it was possibly she could just time travel out of danger or something if she was really in danger. After all, since he had met her older self several times she wasn't likely to die here.

Good! The only one totally defenseless was him!

Wait…

The rabbit-eared girls he had seen around… and the rabbits he had seen back in the clearing… were all apparently youkai, though a definitely less aggressive variety, that lived around the Bamboo Forest and in Eientei itself.

"So why are they all working for you?" he asked at the end of the examination, as Eirin went over various notes she had written down.

"An agreement of mutual benefit. For the most part the rabbits are low in the chain amongst youkai. Eientei gives them a central location and organizational structure to base out of, and in exchange they assist in the upkeep and defense. Anything they can't handle through numbers and planning, we take care of."

Kyon raised an eyebrow at that. Silver hair aside, Eirin looked like a regular human.

"Oh, while there are some exceptional humans able to directly fight youkai… only to be expected from the descendants of demon hunters, plus generations of living in a magically-charge environment… I'm Lunarian, so naturally able to deal with most pests."

"'Lunarian'?"

"Lunarian. A resident of Luna." She smirked at him. "The moon."

He 'hmm'ed for a moment. "So, not affiliated with the Data Sentience Entity, then?"

Eirin blinked.

* * *

Dinner (had it really become that late?) was a noisy affair. Kyon was invited and directed to a large meeting hall (which from the corridors he wouldn't have been able to tell from a janitor's closet or lavatory until the door was opened) where dozens, if not a good hundred, of rabbits were all gathered. After a brief moment where everyone froze at his arrival, the rabbits all returned to their previous conversations and meals, though often enough he would spot some staring at him. They seemed to be split between girls and full rabbit in forms (another thing he noticed… he had yet to see a single other male since he had arrived. It was actually pretty disconcerting) though they were all eating rice, soup, vegetables, and some meat (which he had been assured in giggles that it certainly, definitely, _absolutely_ was only fish, chicken, and beef).

Kyon was introduced, briefly, to the only person there aside from Eirin who looked over the age of 11, one Inaba Udongien Reisen, who greeted him somewhat stiffly before continuing to eat. He wasn't sure why she was different from the other rabbits, being (as mentioned) taller and older-looking, as well as wearing a shirt and tie with skirt compared to the more abundant dresses that the other humanoid rabbits wore, and crumpled-looking rather than floppy ears. Well, Nobuko had threatened the first rabbit he'd seen in Eientei, Midori, with reporting her to Reisen, so maybe she was in charge of the rest of the rabbits?

At least she didn't seem to be outright rude, like Mokou had been. Kyon just got the distinct feeling she didn't want to talk with him, though during the time they did she was at least polite enough to let him finish his sentences, and didn't talk down to him.

The other rabbits, once they got over their initial apprehension, seemed to welcome him, asking questions about "The Outside" which he answered as best he could, though fortunately they mainly asked about more mundane things like what he did as a student, why he was a student instead of working, and the various conveniences (and snacks and games) that 'modern' technology provided. He was actually saved by Reisen several times as the other rabbits would occasionally begin to swarm him with questions, at which point she would actually make them back down before returning to her own business. Kyon wouldn't argue.

After dinner, he was given a guest room and futon to stay the night. Eirin assured him that if his friends were located in the forest he'd be alerted, and if not he would be given a guide to the Human Village in the morning to check there.

He spent a more or less unfulfilling amount of time pretty much doing nothing in the room, only stepping out when he needed to use the bathroom (which he had fortunately been placed next to. He seriously could not tell one doorway from another, and the hallways seemed to stretch…) before he gave up and decided to go to sleep. Aside from talking to rabbits (which he had had his fill of at dinner, thank you) there wasn't anything to actually do. At least this way he'd be able to pass the time until morning without being bored or uselessly worrying about the others.

Sometime later, after he had managed to actually fall asleep, Kyon was awakened by someone shoving his shoulder lightly. It took him a moment to make sense of things, as the lights were still out and the sun hadn't risen, but he quickly enough recalled where he was as the shaking continued.

"I'm awake, I'm awake," he groaned, and the hand retreated. In the low light from the stars filtering through the window, he could just make out a shape with long hair next to him. "Were any of my friends found? What time is it?"

"Nope," the figure said, shaking her head. "And it's a bit more than an hour before sunrise."

Kyon frowned, sitting up stiffly. It had been a while since he had slept on something other than a bed. "What is it then?" he asked, trying to keep any grumpiness out of his voice at being woken up.

"I was just wondering…"

"Yes?"

"If, you know, as a favor…"

"What?" Kyon grunted. This person was really drawing this out.

"Well… would you mind abducting me?" the person asked in a hopeful voice.

…

What?

* * *

Author's Notes:

So, here's where Kyon has ended up. Could have been worse. Might yet end up that way, depending on just what a certain hime has planned.

Well, the poll I had put up with chapter three ended up with "Anyone and everyone" winning 4 to 3 against "The SOS-dan in general" with the other two choices of "Sticking with Kyon" and "The Touhou cast" getting none. So, I'll be writing from various points of views (no more than two per chapter, more likely 1 for each) mainly from the Brigade members, but tossing in a number of Touhous as I go. Already have in mind who the first of those will be.

As always, C&C are welcome so long as it's constructive. Flames will be transferred to the Hell of Blazing Fires as fuel.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: It wasn't me! You can't prove anything! All I did was write some stuff for fun! No money or legal possession involved whatsoever!

* * *

Exciting Investigation of Eastern Mysteries

A Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya Crossover fic

By Nathan Huss

* * *

Stalemate. 1: a drawing position in chess in which a player is not in checkmate but has no legal move to play. 2: a drawn contest : deadlock; also : the state of being stalemated.

As far as Asahina Mikuru felt, that term best described the position she was currently in. Well, not the first definition. She didn't really know that much about chess other than the few times that Kyon and Koizumi played it in the clubroom. She was used to things like [Unknown] and [Unknown] but those hadn't even been developed yet. Not that chess was any more difficult conceptually than those, but the strategies involved were-

She flailed her arms desperately as the upturned container she was perched on rocked back and forth for a moment. Right: not the best time to get into a line of thought on recreational differences between time frames.

After Nagato and Kyon had disappeared she had tried to grab on to Haruhi to keep the girl from vanishing as well. Unfortunately the younger girl had rushed forward to the spot where Kyon had just been standing and out of reach. Whatever had been happening then came down again and whisked them and the Sealing Club off.

Mikuru had fainted in the transition, she assumed, as the next thing she knew she was waking up in the middle of a cave, draped over the large upturned bucket that she was currently trying to hold down. Her initial panic at being alone after the event was only compounded as the bucket… more of a basin in size… had begun to shift, something underneath trying to tip it over to get out, and presumably get her as well.

The time traveller had little knowledge of traditional myths, as they had not been deemed necessary for her mission. Her [Unknown] had included 'current' language patterns, events, cultural trends, [Unknown], and technology (although she often felt that a fair amount had been left out, unintentionally or not, considering how often she got confused). Most of what amounted to her knowledge on the supernatural came from popular media she had seen in-frame, and the ghost stories that Tsuruya would occasionally tell her. None of which gave her any hint as to what might be underneath the bucket, or how dangerous it might be.

She _really_ wanted to run and find someone… _anyone_… from the Brigade, but if she did the entity would be able to overturn the bucket and catch her. If she didn't go, however, it would likely manage to do so anyway soon enough or something else might come along.

She thought briefly of using [Unknown] to just move away, but the chances of getting permission for a non-critical purpose (despite how critical SHE might think it was) was unlikely. If only Kyon, or Haruhi, or-

"Uuuueeeeeeee..."

Mikuru blinked as a wail came from underneath her. It sounded… rather like a young girl.

"*Hic* Uuueeee… Yamameeeee… *hic* heeeelp…"

Was she really just trapping a scared little girl under the bucket? But some of Tsuruya's stories had the monsters or ghosts only pretending to be-

"Uuueeeeee…"

"U-um… Hello?" Mikuru asked timidly.

The crying halted immediately, save for the occasional hiccup.

"I'm sorry… but… um, I'll get off if you promise not to do anything to me… o-okay?"

Mikuru didn't receive a reply immediately, but after nearly half a minute a soft voice spoke. "'Kay."

That was good enough for the moment. Taking a deep breath Mikuru braced herself, and then flung herself away. She dashed away to where a curve in the cave wall gave a bit of cover to hide behind. Peeking out, she stared at the bucket to see what would come out.

The wooden container rocked slightly, as if whatever was under it was testing to see if it really was free. Apparently finding nothing keeping it down now, it tipped over, rolling on the side for a bit before continuing to land on its bottom. Mikuru couldn't spot anything on the ground where it had been, so where was the source of the voice?

That was answered as a small pair of hands poked up and gripped the rim from the inside, and the top of a head slowly rose. All in all, it looked like a human girl, the hair done in two pigtails, and a young face which ducked back into the bucket once it (she?) spotted the time traveller.

To be fair, Mikuru had done the same.

"Kisume!"

Mikuru pressed herself even more firmly against the wall as another voice echoed through the cave. Something else _had_ shown up!

"Are you all right, Kisume? Aw, man! Was it that gang of noppera-bo again? I told them next time they put rocks on top of you I was going to give them such a fever, but it looks like they didn't learn from last time. This time it's two weeks of fever, and _vomiting_. That ought to show them."

There was a slight pause, and the girl in the bucket spoke up: "But the noppera-bo don't even have…"

"Exactly," the second girl said in a satisfied voice.

"Ah… but Yamame…" Kisume began, and whispered something that Mikuru couldn't overhear. Silence fell upon the cave, and Mikuru wondered if she should take a look to see if they had left.

"Ah, so this is the human."

The only thing that kept Mikuru from falling was the fact that she was already pressed against the wall. She did, however, let out a shriek as a shape dropped into her field of vision.

"Ah, too loud!" yelped Yamame, clapping her hands over her ears as the echoes reverberated off of the stone around them. She swung back and forth slightly, tethered to a point somewhere in the dark reaches of the ceiling by a single thread.

Mikuru prepared to run… or just faint… as she noted this along with one other detail. Tilting her head, she had to ask: "A-are… why are you upside-down?"

* * *

"Ok, yeah, I can see that. You don't seem like a human that would try to trap her just to be mean," Yamame said, hand on chin and standing on the ground normally as she went over both stories of what had gone on before her arrival. "And if you didn't come done here under your own power you can't really be expected to know how to aim right"

"Still, I'm really sorry about that," Mikuru said tentatively, glancing over Yamame's shoulder to where Kisume's bucket was hovering, the girl herself just barely poking her head over the rim. "It's just… all my friends are missing, and I heard about there being all sorts of demons and monsters, and…"

"I get the picture," Yamame said, waving a hand placatingly. "You're human, not even from the lands above. Kinda odd that you showed up here, but you didn't mean to scare Kisume, so it's all good now. I'm Kurodani Yamame, the tsuchigumo, and Kisume here is a tsurube-otoshi." Kisume's hand rose briefly to wave before zipping back inside.

"Ah, I'm Asahina Mikuru," she introduced herself, bowing. "Eh… so this is Gensokyou?"

"Well, not really," Yamame said, shrugging. "This is technically the outer reaches of the Old Hell. There's a path from Gensokyou to here, but-"

"Hell?" The time-traveller took a step back.

"_Former_ hell. And even then it was just the Hell of Blazing Fire, not all of them. It got decommissioned a couple hundred years back. There's still evil spirits and stuff, but mostly it's just the Oni and us youkai around now in the Ancient City."

That was… kind of reassuring. These two were youkai, and they seemed nice. "So what do you do down here?" Mikuru asked.

"'Do'? Well, the Oni are usually drinking and fighting. And fighting and drinking."

Mikuru blinked. "Isn't that the same thing?"

Yamame grinned. "Yeah. It's just that they sometimes switch up the order it happens in." Behind her, Kisume giggled.

"As for the rest of us," the spider-like woman continued, "eh, we just get by, I suppose you could say. We're not allowed aboveground, and since the hell is closed there's not much else to do. Some people run shops, others make stuff. Mining is a way to pass the time, and keeps the place from getting too crowded with evil spirits since they like dark corners like the tunnels."

"I see…" Mikuru said. It didn't sound like a very nice way to spend time to her, but Yamame seemed content with it. Maybe it was just another cultural discrepancy? She was dealing with non-human sophonts after all.

"So… what to do," Yamame murmured.

"Eh? What do you mean?"

The tsuchigumo looked at her. "We can't just leave you here, obviously. I mean, even if you knew the way to the surface, it's not like you'd stand all that good a chance of making it to safety alive." Mikuru swallowed nervously at that frank assessment. "Same thing if you went wandering around the tunnels here on your own.

"We could probably lead you to the surface easily, but I'm not sure where the opening is compared to where humans would be up there, and like I said we're not allowed up there, so I couldn't help once you're above. We could bring you to the Ancient City… it's a bit rough for humans, but so long as you're with us you should be left alone."

"We… could take her to Satori," Kisume said from inside her bucket. "She… um… could figure something out, and she's not a violent youkai so we… um… wouldn't have to worry about Mikuru getting eaten or anything."

"Kisume… great idea! Just what I was considering!" Yamame slung herself over the edge of the bucket, presumably giving the girl inside a hug. At least the squeak of surprise seemed to indicate such. Mikuru sympathized; she often got similar treatment from Haruhi and Tsuruya, though for differing reasons. "Great minds thinking alike!"

Pulling herself back out of the bucket, Yamame turned to the human girl. "Well, let's get going then! You probably can't fly… right? Right. Haven't seen a human in a long while, so I couldn't remember. So we'd better get going. It'll take a while on foot."

That being decided, the three of them began down the tunnels. Kisume emerged enough to take a rope that had been tied to the handle of her bucket and toss it towards the ceiling, where it disappeared into the darkness. The rope tightened, and the bucket itself lifted into the air where it somehow began swinging forward matching the pace of the other two as they walked. Mikuru wondered just what it was attached to, but couldn't make anything out.

Seeing as there was little else to do (there was a few things to look at, but luminous crystals and fungi are only interesting for so long), Mikuru decided to talk with the two youkai. "So… what kind of youkai are you, anyway? And why would you be forbidden to go aboveground?"

"Ehhh?" Yamame said. "I already said what we were."

Mikuru blushed a bit. "I… don't really know what a tsuchigumo or tsurube-otoshi is, aside from the meaning of the names."

Yamame shook her head. "Sheesh, humans these days. Just what did they teach you back where you came from?"

Mikuru shrugged nervously. She couldn't very well explain temporal frame mechanics, [Unknown], or historical/social conditioning to them. Not that she could anyway, considering. Fortunately, it seemed to have been a rhetorical question.

"I'm a tsuchigumo, an Earth Spider, and I have control over all disease. Kisume here is a tsurube-otoshi Bucket Dropper, and can create youkai flames. You wouldn't know it from looking at her, but her species was really well-known eating humans. Not-that-either-of-us-would-of-course," she quickly added at Mikuru's expression. "But anyway, for one reason or another, none of the youkai up on the surface like the people down here. Rather than having a big fight, and killing each other, an agreement was set up that if we stayed down here, they'd stay up there, and wouldn't bother us. Aside from some hiccups near the beginning, it's all worked out."

"Not everyone was… sent down here," Kisume said quietly. "Some just didn't have anywhere else to go, or had problems on the surface that they couldn't work out."

Yamame nodded. "Yeah. The Oni actually came down here on their own. So did Satori, the one we're taking you to. She's still really powerful, though, so she ended up taking over the Palace of Earth Spirits."

They continued to walk/swing through the tunnel until it opened up to a vast cavern. Mikuru could only stare in wonder; while the tunnels before had been relatively big, this was so huge she could barely see the other side! The ceiling was still darkened, but the ground was lit up by… a river of lava!

Or was it 'magma'? Geology hadn't been one of the topics included in her [Unknown].

"C'mon, we're getting close to the City," Yamame said. "We'll be there in no time."

"But… how do we get across? I can't swing like you two can."

The tsuchigumo grinned. "There's also flying, but yeah. Anyway, we're not going over the river. At least not like that. We'll be taking the bridge. More polite that way." She pointed off some distance to the side, where Mikuru now noticed a long wooden bridge spanning the length of the molten river, and beyond that what appeared to be a city.

"Oh! Alright." A bridge was good. Bridges were safe; they had guardrails. Though the fact that this one was made out of wood made her a bit concerned due to the nature of what it crossed. Still, it was better than nothing, and Yamame and Kisume seemed not to be bothered about it.

As they approached the bridge, Mikuru noticed the two youkai seemed to be looking for something. She glanced around trying to figure out what, but couldn't see anything but stone, bridge, and the river.

"Well, looks like she isn't around," Yamame said. "Must be sleeping or something."

"Who?" Mikuru asked.

"The guardian of the bridge. She gets kind of hissy if people don't say hello when they cross, but if she's not here I'm not going to wait around for her to get back. Let's get going."

The bridge was solidly built, so crossing was a simple matter. Once on the other side the trio headed towards the buildings, which were lit up by lanterns rather than the fungi and crystals in the tunnels. It looked rather archaic for the chronological frame she was in, but it was definitely better than nothing.

Of course, once they entered the city proper her comfort was drastically reduced. Nearly everywhere she looked was some type of non-human. Scales, horns, fur, and feathers all seemed prominent, and it was only the fact that those bearing these features were doing relatively normal things such as shopping, sweeping, and working kept her from clutching to either of her guides. Still, as they moved further in Mikuru noticed that heads began turning in their direction with increasing degrees of curiosity.

"Um…"

"Don't worry, don't worry," Yamame said. "They just haven't seen a human in a couple hundred years or something. As long as you're not about to start shouting things like 'Die foul demons!' or whatever they won't bother you with us here. Half of these guys probably wouldn't even remember what they're supposed to do with a human."

"Oh, I don't know," a voice said from behind them. "'Carry them away' is pretty basic and easy to remember. After that, though, that might take them a bit to figure out the rest."

The trio spun around. Mikuru took a step back on seeing a tall, powerful-looking woman with a single red horn sprouting from her forehead. The woman was dressed in what seemed to be a… gym uniform? The shirt at least, as instead of pants or bloomers she was wearing a blue skirt of some sort (surprising, but considering some of the other things she had seen down there already, and the type of costumes Haruhi liked to put her in, it didn't seem too out of place. The broken chains on the woman's wrists and ankles were a bit more disconcerting, though), had long blond hair, and was holding a gourd of some sort which Mikuru took to be some form of bottle as it was brought up to the person's lips and an audible sound of swallowing followed.

"Ah, Yuugi!" Yamame said, echoed by Kisume. "No abducting! She's on her way to the Palace with us."

The woman grinned. "Oh? Not even a little bit? I mean, the human is already here and all…" She took a long from the gourd, then tossed it over her shoulder. "It'd be a shame to pass up the chance, just to make sure the skills aren't totally gone, you know? She looks like a real princess-type, too."

Despite Yuugi being much taller than Yamame, the tsuchigumo didn't seem to be even considering backing down. "Well, she's under my protection, Oni. What do you have to say about that?"

"Guardian for the princess, eh? Not bad, not bad. Guess I've got to put some effort into it."

Mikuru squeaked as she felt a tug on her sleeve, which turned out to be Kisume. The youkai pointed off to the side of the wide street they were on, floating in that direction herself. Mikuru noticed that a lot of the other beings were also gathering on the sides, leaving the street itself clear save for the two blonde women.

"Wh-what's going on?" she asked even as she was pulled along.

"Fighting for fun," Kisume said. "Danmaku play."

"Eh?" Well, Yamame had identified Yuugi as an Oni, and earlier said that they spent a lot of time fighting with each other. So… it was all a game for them? "Then… she's not really planning on abducting me?"

"… maybe."

The time traveler was broken out of considering that disturbingly-inconclusive answer by a sudden burst of light and sound. Both youkai in the street had all but exploded as balls of light rocketed back and forth between them, and each twisting and flying around trying to avoid those cast out by their opponent.

"Eeeeehhh!" _THAT_ was 'playing'? It looked more like a particularly violent form of [Unknown] to her! She could see the two even flinching whenever one was actually hit by one of the lights… though they didn't seem to be damaged from it.

"Ah… and I wanted to get to the cloth shop before it got too late…" "Huh… the spider's fighting? Shouldn't take too long, I suppose." "Nah, Yuugi'll probably drag it out." "Fight! A fight! Go!"

The voices of the various beings next to them were remarkably blasé for the spectacle in front of them. Especially as the two fighters took to higher in the air and Yamame's lights began to spread in a web-pattern. Some of the people on the street even returned to their errands, though keeping an eye or three to make sure the blasts didn't come too close.

Mikuru sighed to herself. It looked like, despite her impressions, this was something commonplace here. Kisume didn't look worried at all for her friend, and was actually leaning up over the edge of her bucket to get a better look.

The fight ended suddenly, as Yuugi began to cast out a large number of spheres that were much bigger than before, almost as big as a person! Yamame was able to dodge around them at the start, even at points when Mikuru was almost sure that she had been hit by one, until eventually one dash to avoid getting hit was miscalculated, causing her to run directly into another. Getting struck by the blast seemed to be the last that Yamame could take, and her lights flared out as she dropped. Mikuru's eyes widened at the rapidly-descending figure, but Yuugi had zipped after to catch Yamame and keep her up until she recovered enough to fly down under her own power. The two landed in front of Mikuru and Kisume, and the crowd dispersed, the show apparently over.

"Eheh… Sorry, I lost," Yamame said.

"Yep. The guardian was defeated," said Yuugi, grinning. "Would the princess like a shot at fighting back?"

"Ah? Nononono!" Shaking her head quickly, Mikuru wondered what was going to happen now. "I can't do anything like that!"

"Aw… oh well. Princesses didn't do much fighting, anyway." Yuugi clapped a heavy hand onto her shoulder. "You're abducted now! And so…" She trailed off, 'hmmm'-ing.

After nearly a minute without the Oni continuing, Mikuru tentatively spoke up: "And s-so?"

"Ah! Right! So, you were heading to the Palace, was it? Come on." She released Mikuru's shoulder and jerked a thumb down the road behind her. "I'll look after her from here, Yamame. Good fight."

Huh… had she really forgotten what happened after a human was abducted? Whatever that might have been? Mikuru wasn't about to ask, though, and on saying her goodbyes to Yamame and Kisume, followed after her new abductor/guide.

* * *

Despite the whole abduction thing, Yuugi was actually quite nice (if inadvertently intimidating) company. Most of the other youkai tended to move out of the way for her (and accordingly, Mikuru as well, which she very much appreciated), aside from the occasional other Oni giving her a greeting or cup of something which she would immediately knock back with a satisfied swallow.

Mikuru had to refuse a couple offers by the tall woman to have some of… whichever it was at the time. The smell alone from some of the drinks seemed stronger than the wine she'd had on the island back during summer. Yuugi accepted the refusals well enough, simply drinking the offered alcohol herself and making vague comments about 'delicate princesses.'

The only real problem was that Yuugi was… how could it be put? She was very interested in whether Mikuru had a 'knight' or something that might come to 'rescue' her. Of course, she immediately thought of Kyon, but there was no way she was going to tell the Oni about him; she'd crush him like an egg! Just the thought of what would happen if she thought he was someone to fight…

"Hey, don't faint on me now, princess! We're almost there!"

Looking up, Mikuru saw that they were. The Palace of Earth Spirits lived up to its name in size, if not in style. Rather than a castle, eastern or western, it was a huge western-style mansion, towering above them. Large stained-glass windows marked the walls, showing various scenes and creatures.

"Waaaaa…" she breathed, staring at the structure.

"Yeah, pretty nice place, huh," Yuugi said. "Let's see if Satori is in." She simply strode up to the main doors and shoved them open. "Yo! Anyone home?" Without even waiting for a reply she continued inside.

Cringing slightly at the rude entrance, Mikuru followed behind a more gingerly. Still, no one seemed present. Even Tsuruya's house tended to have a maid or someone around doing general chores or cleaning, but the Palace seemed to be deserted for the moment.

"Are you sure we should just go inside, Miss Yuugi?"

"Yeah, it's no big deal. She hardly ever gets visitors, so when people do stop she has to notice them first. Let's see… I think she might be… this way!" The Oni woman marched off quickly down a corridor, and Mikuru struggled to keep up.

"Wait, Miss Yuugi! You're going too… Miss Yuugi!"

Yeah, she was left behind. Despite Yuugi's strong footfalls, the large hallways just caused echoes that hid the actual direction until they vanished. Sighing, Mikuru looked around for a sign of where the woman had gone. Maybe she left a door open behind her? Except all the doors down this way were closed…

"Oh no…" Now what was she supposed to do?

Well, she was already intruding uninvited in this place, for all that Yuugi had said it didn't matter. Looking around couldn't hurt any more than how much trouble she was already in.

The rooms, though unoccupied, were all very nicely furnished, with couches, chairs, and tables of all sorts. One even had a balcony with a set of chairs and table that were probably for having tea, overlooking a courtyard with…

Much later, Mikuru would have no real recollection of there having been stairs or doors. Just that at one point she was looking down into the courtyard, and the next she was _in _the courtyard, surrounded by dozens of various animals. Cats, dogs, birds, even a few sheep and deer and…

"Aaaaaa…" she cooed. "Um… Puppy. Wan wan… Kitty-nyaaaaa. Pii pii…"

The animals, though at first concerned about the stranger, gradually approached her, allowing her to stroke their fur and scratch behind their ears. Mikuru herself was in a happy daze as she kneeled on the grass. All of these animals, and so nicely behaved! They must belong to this Satori person. She must be very nice, to take care of all of them!

"Nyan-nyan nyan-nyan…"

"Aah? Who's this?" asked a voice behind her in a puzzled tone.

Mikuru jumped slightly, flushing. "Ah! I'm sorry, I just… All the nyan… I mean kitties and puppies and…" She turned around as she tried to explain herself.

And was left facing an eye. A huge, unblinking eye; staring at her unflinchingly as she stammered. Looking into her very soul.

"… and… and… I… big…"

There was a light thump on the grass.

"… Unyuu?"

* * *

Author's Notes:

Wow… that was a fair amount longer than I expected it to end up… Still a bit rushed at the end, probably, but I think it turned out well enough.

[Unknown] was selected to represent Mikuru's mental conditioning/psychic blocks/super-cyborg programming/whatever because, well, "Classified Information" while an in-universe thing was a bit overdone, and since she was never actually saying any of those bits wouldn't really feel right to me. I considered "Redacted" but figured people are likely getting sick of how much that one has been propagated.

In any case, that's another one down. Now where oh where could the illustrious Leader and taciturn Interface have ended up? We'll find out soon enough.

C&C is welcomed. Flames will be stuffed into one of Yukari's spare gaps for eventual return-to-sender.

* * *

Omake: Raise Your Hand If You Saw This Coming

"I'm really sorry about this," Eirin said.

Kyon just continued to stare in shock, unsure how to properly react.

"I suppose I should have been more suspicious when I didn't see Tewi around at all during dinner," the Lunarian doctor continued. "She usually leaves patients alone, though I suppose that since you admitted you weren't one earlier she felt that made you 'fair game' or such."

"Just… what did she…?"

"Dipped into my private stores. I am an accomplished pharmacist, beyond any human. As such, a number of my creations have effects that you would consider… unusual."

"This is a bit beyond _unusual_!"

Eirin merely inclined her head in allowance to Kyon's point of view on the situation.

"Why would you create something to turn a guy into a girl anyway?" the new 'she' asked. "Seriously, when would you actually _need_ it?" Kyon gave her a suspicious glance.

The doctor just shrugged. "You'd be surprised. I'll admit it isn't a commonly used thing, but from time to time it's put to use. Mostly for pranks, much like Tewi's use of it here; quite a few men I've run across in the past have had an enlightening… 'experience' in which I dosed them in the hopes they'd better treat the women around them afterward."

"That's…" Kyon trailed off. "Ok, yeah. I can see that. You can just leave it at that." The teenager didn't want to hear any other 'uses' for the drug, even if he could imagine what some of them likely were.

"At least you're able to fit into one of Reisen's uniforms," Eirin changed topics smoothly. "It's a touch large on you, but…"

Kyon sighed, and looked down at the skirt and blouse combo. "I could have just stayed in my regular clothes. Tightened the belt, that kind of thing." The protest was hollow, though. Kyon's normal clothes needed to be washed to make sure any spilled chemicals from when he had changed didn't soak into the cloth.

"Where'd all the… rest of me go, anyway? I've got to be at least, what, eight or nine centimeters shorter and howevermuch lighter. That mass can't just… instantly disappear from some drug."

Eirin shrugged absently.

"If you have a potion-"

"Drug," the Lunarian interrupted. "'Potion' implies a magical element, which I do not require to reach my desired effects."

Kyon sighed. That just made the fact that this had actually happened even worse. If it had been magic, data manipulation, reality bending, or whatever it would be something able to be passed off as general undesired weirdness. But just a 'drug'?

"If you have something to turn male into female, wouldn't you have another to do the opposite?"

"Of course."

"Then can't I just-"

"Of course _not_. If this were somehow the result of a relatively natural biological function, magic, or really almost any other cause I would allow it, but since the change is due to one drug, using another would only create complications as the two formulas interacted within your body." She shook her head. "I haven't even tested what could happen yet if both were taken."

"Figures," Kyon grumbled. At least none of the other brigade members were around to see this. He dreaded what reactions they would have.

Across Gensokyou, four individuals sneezed. Puzzled (especially in the case of one Humanoid Interface), they each did the equivalent of a shrug and continued on, looking for the 'normal' member of their group. The sooner they could find him, the better to keep him from falling into danger.

Kyon shivered.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: None of the characters or settings portrayed within this story belong to the writer. They are all used solely for non-monetary profit entertainment.

Currently checking to see if snack-based profit would be allowable…

* * *

Exciting Investigation of Eastern Mysteries

A Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya Crossover Fic

By Nathan Huss

* * *

Carefully… carefully…

A thin, almost transparent, curled strip of wood drifted to the table as it was finally separated from the main mass. A small figure, dressed in a dark purple dress and a red bow in its hair, dutifully swept up the shaving with a miniature broom. This went unnoticed by the person hunched over the workbench, who merely continued to delicately shape and smooth the construction in front of her.

"Hourai, sandpaper... Extra fine."

Another miniature form floated up from her side over to a series of cabinets across the room. Pulling the handle of one with both arms, it opened the drawer and flitted inside, quickly returning with a small sheet half as tall as it was. It was taken by the crafter, who brought it to her current work before halting suddenly.

"I said 'extra fine'! You should know where it is by now!" She stood up from the workbench and stomped over to the cabinets, trailed by the two smaller shapers. "See! Oh, wait…"

Alice looked into the cabinet that Hourai had opened. Inside were several stacks of sandpaper, however, they were scattered in mixed piles rather than uniform groups of the same grit she had originally stored them in.

"Oh, damn. How…? Must have been Marisa, or that youkai, or fairies snuck in, or…" She shook her head. "And now I've lost my concentration. Lovely."

The witch looked back to the workbench, where the components of her latest doll lay unfinished, and sighed. She could go back to work on it, but now that her focus had been broken she felt all the little twinges and twitches that came from doing such minute movements and her position while working.

"Time for a break, I suppose. Shanghai, tea." She headed out of the room, the two dolls darting ahead of her towards the kitchen.

As she entered the room, she and the dolls stopped. Sitting on the counter was a steaming pot, with two teacups set to the side, waiting to be filled. Alice could even smell the strong aroma of the brewed tea, despite having not sensed anything until she had walked in.

"All right, who's there!" she growled, Shanghai and Hourai taking up positions beside her as several more dolls floated up next to them. "Don't think you can hide from me in my own house!"

"Ara, ara… How cruel of you, Alice-chan. I was only trying to be helpful."

Twitching for a moment at the voice, Alice slumped her shoulders. "Yakumo…"

Footsteps came from behind the puppeteer, and Yakumo Yukari slid into the kitchen past Alice. "See? The tea is done and ready to be served. You didn't have any snacks, though, so we'll just have to go without, unfortunately."

"Yakumo, what are you doing here?"

"Preparing tea, of course! Well, it's already prepared…"

Palming her face, Alice frowned and wondered if wrecking her kitchen would be worth it to make the other youkai leave.

"Now, now… Come on then, Alice-chan. We've things to discuss, after all; pull up a chair and we can do so over morning tea."

No, it probably wouldn't be. With a sigh, dolls were directed to gather the teapot and cups, and brought them over to the side-parlor. Both women sat down across from each other as the tea was poured.

"You really should keep a few extra cookies or the like around, for visitors, even just some senbei," Yukari said. "Tea is good, but you need a little something more at times."

"For coming here without asking, you sure are being picky," Alice shot back. "What is it you want?"

"Well… there's been a bit of… trouble recently. Nothing you have to worry about, Alice-chan. I just would like you to take care of one of those who caused it for a little."

"That sounds worrying."

"But it's not."

"I'll be the judge of that," Alice said.

Yukari put on a hurt look that Alice didn't believe for a second, but didn't call her on. They both took a measured sip from their cups, before Yukari resumed speaking.

"It's not as bad as it may sound. The trouble seems to have been unintentional, but the individual was present for it, very likely aggravated it, and managed to harm themselves in the process. You would be more a… caretaker, rather than a warden."

"That sounds like even more trouble than if I was just supposed to keep something locked away."

"I would have asked Reimu-chan, but she's going to be occupied as it is. I can't do so myself as I'll need to be working on the Barrier, and I can't just dump it on Ran and Chen-chan."

Alice seriously doubted that. Ran was immensely capable and effective when not following some twisted whim of Yukari's. The only reasons the kitsune wouldn't be able to take care of the 'troublemaker' were that she would have to assist Yukari's repairs, or that the gap youkai just didn't want her to.

"There's also the possibility of her having something else to take care of too, Alice-chan."

"Well, I suppose so, but-" Alice froze, and then glared at her 'guest.'

"Oh dear. It was just so obvious on your face is all," Yukari said, her fan pulled out from nowhere and spread in front of her mouth. "Look at this as an opportunity, Alice-chan! Being shut in here all alone so much, you could use someone to talk with."

"I do just fine like this. If I really need anyone to talk with, Marisa usually breaks in once or twice a month, and I do go to the village or Kourindou for supplies."

"True, true… But at the village you barely talk to anyone outside of placing orders with the shops and your performances. It would be good to help bring out that nurturing side you have hidden away somewhere."

Alice frowned. "I do not have a 'nurturing side.'"

The other youkai chuckled. "Of _course_ you do, Alice-chan. It's just usually focused on your dolls." The fan snapped shut and Yukari tapped her chin thoughtfully. "Well, aside from stuffing them with gunpowder, that is. But the point is that you've certainly inherited a certain feel for it."

The dollmaker's frown deepened for a moment. "I don't have the time to nursemaid anyone. Between my studies and experiments, and crafting new dolls, plus whatever chaos is sure to happen due to this 'trouble,' I have better things to do with my time than-"

"I would count it as such a favor, Alice-chan," Yukari interrupted with a wheedling pout. "Shey'll practically look after herself! All they need is someone to make sure she don't get into more trouble than she can handle until I have everything cleared up."

Sighing, Alice refilled her tea. "I'd really prefer to just be by myself."

"Trust me! Would I lie about something important?" Yukari just received a flat look as a response. "Such cruel eyes, Alice-chan!"

"I… am willing to admit… that in matters truly dealing with the safety of Gensokyou you would not lie," Alice said finally.

"Subarashii! I'm truly grateful to hear this." Yukari rose from the table, smiling. "Well, I'd better get started on the Barrier. Thank you for the tea, Alice-chan. Ja ne!"

As the gap youkai glided out of the room, Alice could only sigh. "When will you be dropping the person off, Yakumo?"

"Whatever could you mean?" came the lilting voice from the main hallway. "Hasn't she been in your guest room for some time now?"

"WHAT?" She was on her feet in a shot, and dashed for the doorway. "Yakumo, you-!"

The hallway was empty, despite the front door being silent. The whole time.

"Why that damn…! You definitely owe me for this, Yakumo!"

* * *

Having resisted the urge to immediately storm up to find out just who or what Yukari had dropped off, Alice spent a few minutes to calm down, finishing off her tea in the process. She supposed she should have expected something like this from the older youkai. And at least by agreeing she had managed to get a favor of some sort out of it (though, odds were high that Yukari would determine what 'favor' to give on her own, and dump it on Alice without any warning) so it wasn't a complete loss.

She'd have to update the wards on her home, though. As powerful as she was, and adept at going where she wasn't requested, the fact that Yukari had been able to just leave someone in her house without her being aware of it was galling. As a master of puppets, being aware and in control of objects within her domain was one thing Alice prided herself on. Yes, Marisa tended to come and go as she pleased, but the black-white did so by simple smash and run tactics which were hardly discrete. You could be on the other side of Gensokyou and tell when the witch was up to something.

Calmed down somewhat, Alice remotely sent several dolls upstairs to her guest room. Yukari's assurances aside, better to get an initial feel for whatever was up there without putting herself in immediate potential danger. Anything that could cause enough of a disturbance like what the gap mistress needed to take care of was obviously a threat, intentionally or no.

As the dolls entered the room, Alice could sense through them that there was indeed someone there, in the guest bed. She didn't sense any obvious sort of power in the person, even dormant, which left her a bit confused. Anything able to seriously affect the Hakurei Barrier on a level to bring out Yukari should be on par with at least… hm… the Scarlet Devil Mansion's Remilia or Patchouli. They had been able to bring the mansion through the barrier, though without damaging she presumed as there had been little news or bother with them until the Scarlet Mist Incident.

In any case, it seemed like she wouldn't be any immediate danger herself, so Alice strode into the guest room to see who her involuntary visitor was.

Lying in the bed apparently asleep was a young girl, possibly in their early to mid-teens from the look of it. Short hair, similar in shade to that Fujiwara person. Hard to tell how tall she was with her lying down, but she seemed to be fairly petite. Clothing… similar to that Moon Rabbit's in general style. A Lunarian, maybe? Possible, but damaging the Barrier seemed a bit out of place to their purposes from what she understood, especially since they were supposedly able to bypass it except in such cases as the whole mess during the Harvest Moon Festival.

Speculation could only get her so far, in any case. While Alice would normally be willing to let a person finish resting on their own she needed to know just what she had gotten herself conned into. Prodding the unknown girl's shoulder, she attempted to wake her up.

The suddenness which the girl's eyes opened surprised the puppeteer, and she jerked her hand back. Had the girl been faking sleep? Or actually, she had probably been put under a trance or similar by Yukari so that she wouldn't try anything on her own until Alice was in a position to actually keep an eye on her.

"Your name?" Alice asked.

The girl didn't answer, only sitting up and looking around the room. Curiously, her expression seemed nearly a total blank; if not for the way her eyes darted to her several times Alice would have suspected that the girl wasn't even conscious of her presence. Finally she turned to face Alice fully, face still impassive. "Where?"

"You're in my house. Against my will, after a fashion, but that's someone else's fault. Now, who and what are you? Yakumo said you had done something to the Barrier, though I can hardly tell how."

The girl just blinked. "Nagato Yuki." She seemed to focus on something, and her eyes widened ever so slightly.

Waiting for a moment to see if the now-identified 'Yuki' would continue, Alice sighed. "'Yuki,' eh? Good enough for the moment, I suppose. I am Alice Margatroid, the Seven-Colored Puppeteer. You have been… remanded, for lack of a better term, into my care. Don't cause trouble, follow my rules while you're here, and we'll get along decently. Do you have any objections?"

Nagato blinked slowly, before dipping her head in a minute nod. "Alone?"

"Hmm?"

"… Others?"

"If you're asking towards myself, I live here on my own with my dolls. If you mean you were previously accompanied by other people, then I must say I have no idea where any of them would be."

Yuki seemed to consider this for a moment, before sliding out from underneath the covers of the bed and heading straight for the doorway. Alice smoothly positioned herself in front of the girl. "And just where are you going?"

"Find them."

The corner of Alice's mouth twitched upward for a moment. "I'm afraid not. While I can appreciate that you want to search for them, as I said I've been put to keeping you here for the time being."

Yuki didn't reply back to this, but Alice could see the previously vague cast to her face harden. If it wasn't for her attention to fine detail from working on her dolls she would guess that it would have been hard, if not nearly impossible, to spot. Interesting; the girl was either in nearly complete control of her muscles, or for some reason simply had next to no involuntary movements.

In any case, rather than let the girl attempt something foolish Alice had several dolls grab onto Nagato's arms to restrain her. The puppeteer was rather surprised when Nagato immediately shook them off and moved to shove her out of the way. The girl's detached mannerisms had made it seem like she was either not fully aware of her surroundings or overly docile. At the very least, now, it seemed she was determined when it came to her friends.

"While normally I wouldn't care, I currently have an agreement with that woman to keep you out of trouble, and you wandering through the forest would most likely count for that one way or another. It would hardly do for you to get eaten or something."

Nagato looked at her for a moment. "This is Gensokyou?"

Quirking an eyebrow, Alice nodded. "So you're at least a little informed about your situation. That should help."

"Must look for them. Priority."

Rolling her eyes, Alice could only shake her head. "You have no power to speak of, no knowledge of where or what condition they're in, and if you had to ask whether this was Gensokyou, little to no knowledge of the land itself."

Nagato's head inclined slightly in acknowledgement, but otherwise she didn't give any impression of agreeing with those details or at least let them stop her. "They are in danger."

"While I can hardly claim otherwise, the fact remains that you can't actually do anything."

This actually seemed to get a small reaction from the girl. "Permission denial based on lack of percieved capability."

"I normally wouldn't care what you did, especially if you were able to handle yourself, but I agreed to watch over you until that woman is done with… well, whatever she's actually doing. Since you're just a human… albeit a strange one… that just means that I would have failed to keep you out of trouble if you went off on your own."

"Setting data jurisdiction…"

Alice blinked. "Eh?"

Nagato's lips moved quickly, though Alice couldn't make out what was being said. Nothing seemed to be happening, however, and when the girl finished there was a definite sense of confusion coming from her.

"What was that supposed to be?"

"Data jurisdiction failed. Running scan… IDSE connection blocked. Reconnects 1, 2, 3 failed. Logging. Continuing scan…"

Alice could only watch curiously as Nagato continued to speak to herself, apparently ignoring the blonde youkai for the moment. The murmuring picked up speed, and she lost track of what was being said as apparent nonsense-phrases became more prominent and the speed moved into what she doubted any human could actually say without tripping over their own tongue.

Eventually, Nagato stopped, silent.

"External access blocked and-or faulty," she said after a little. "Backup unavailable. Damaged sectors defragging: completion time inconsistent. Unable to access sealed programs: unknown encryption algorithm present."

She looked around the room, and then at Alice, who hadn't understood anything that had been said. Or rather, Alice realized, the doorway she was still in front of.

"Priority." Nagato moved forward, trying to slip around.

Dolls moved to block the way, but Alice put a hand to her chin in thought.

"I think we should talk."

* * *

Getting Nagato to start explaining had been somewhat easier than Alice expected. While initially reluctant, the girl had eventually stated that the puppeteer was a 'dual-state organism' which somehow made it acceptable after consideration for her to explain what the whole mess she had said earlier was.

At that point, the problem had nearly become how to make her stop talking. Or to at least make sense without context.

Alice managed to eventually come up with a summary of what she was told: Nagato claimed to be something called a Humanoid Interface (essentially a shikigami, as far as Alice could make of it) for some nebulous grand, all-powerful youkai called the Integrated Data Sentience Entity that existed in space. An exaggeration, surely, but one that happened reasonably often with shikigami-type relationships if the power disparity between servant and master was great enough.

Nagato had been sent to the world outside Gensokyou to observe a particular girl that the Entity thought could help it overcome some form of growth barrier it was experiencing. Now, due to various developments, that human and the group she had gathered around her were likely scattered across Gensokyou, which Nagato seemed to believe she herself had done accidentally.

Frankly, Alice barely believed half of it, and only because Yukari had dropped the girl off to begin with. It was possible that Nagato's powers were damaged and/or sealed, and thus why she couldn't sense them at all. If she had really been messing with the Hakurei Barrier it was quite plausible that either by accident or Yukari's actions she and her friends could have been sucked into Gensokyou. But time-travel? Entities as old as all existence (which was hard to buy as well) but looking to humans for inspiration? A pure human with power and ability on par with… with…

In any case, it seemed that powers or no Yuki was determined to go and look for the others. Alice could easily restrain the girl, though would hardly be the most favorable way to go about things. As already stated she could hardly leave Yuki to her fate by sending her off alone, either in good conscience or due to her promise to Yukari.

She could, perhaps, send a few of her dolls off with Nagato with enough power to react to threats semi-autonomously, but to rely on them solely for protection without method to recharge them in the field it would be a temporary solution at best. Chances were that the dolls would run out while in the middle of a confrontation.

Alice felt a tug on her sleeve, and looked down to see Shanghai pulling on the fabric, with Hourai holding her shawl. The puppeteer sighed, and patted Shanghai's head.

"Oh, all right. If you really must, I'll at least show you to where you may find some way of locating them. We won't go out searching at random, however." She took the shawl and put it on. Orleans and Russia both entered the room next, carrying the weight of her grimoire between them. "Ah, thank you. Now then, I'd like to get this over with, then, so hurry up with your tea and we'll leave."

Yuki, who had been watching Alice's inner deliberations silently, tilted her head slightly as the witch prepared to head out. "The constructs are sentient?"

Alice blinked. "What, my dolls? Of course not. While that's certainly a goal of mine, I haven't come close. Aside from some minor cosmetic actions I have to control them all directly. Why do you ask?"

After a few moments, during which the two simply stared at each other with varying amounts of internal confusion, Yuki finally looked down and finished off the remains of her tea.

* * *

Seeing as Yuki didn't possess the ability to fly… or at least couldn't access it if her story was true… the two ended up walking to their destination. Aside from the added time it wasn't much of a big deal, as most of the fairies and youkai knew Alice, or at least _of_ her, and wouldn't attempt to bother her outside of observing out of curiosity.

To her credit, Yuki didn't complain about the distance or method of travel. Alice had often enough heard in the village how outsiders who ended up there would be rather upset with the lack of things they were accustomed to outside the Barrier, including transportation. Yuki didn't appear to care, outside of the general fact that she was not reunited with her companions to begin with, and even then outside of during her explanations back at Alice's house had not actually spoken of it.

Alice really wondered about that. Human or no, Yuki had precious little in the way of normal socialization behavior and habits. She barely moved except as needed to observe or manipulate items. She barely spoke unless spoken to, and usually was very deliberate and technical when she did. That was not typical of humans that she knew of. At least, not without some form of external interference. If not for the fact that she could and did act under her own initiative, she seemed almost… well… doll-like (Alice was a bit annoyed at making that comparison, if just that it gave the impression that it would have been made due to her specialty).

Could Yukari have put some kind of barrier on Yuki's mind beyond sealing powers? It seemed unlikely, as the gap youkai usually preferred to manipulate rather than such brute-force tactics (as Alice could attest). Manipulating personalities were one boundary that she seemed unwilling to cross, so to speak.

The walk passed by quickly enough, especially once they exited the Forest and reached actual road. Yuki looked at the fields they passed, but declined to make any comments, so Alice couldn't tell if she was curious, admiring, or underwhelmed. The Misty Lake received similar observation, though Yuki's eyes darted back and forth several times, and Alice made out the tiny movements of what were probably some lesser fairies at the far bank. That the girl seemed to be following them much more closely than even Alice's enhanced youkai sight was an interesting detail.

As they rounded the lake, they came up to the main gate of the Scarlet Devil Mansion. Impressive by most accounts, especially for Gensokyou, the mansion fairly loomed oppressively over the waters, despite lacking the proper height for it and actually being a nice, sunny day. Alice was less impressed than an average visitor, of course, due to previous visits and having been to Eientei as well. Yuki… actually took interest.

"Internal space-time divergence, ratio ranging from 1.3 to 2.73."

"The head maid here has… particular abilities," Alice said after a taking a moment to discern whether there was a question hidden in the statement. "Well, it's actually not completely unique here, though she's the most natural user by far."

"Ah."

Alice glanced around for a moment. "Well, we may as well, head in. It seems that the guard is off napping or the like."

She only received one of minute nods that she was becoming familiar with in response, and the two of them pushed open one of the metal gates and strode inside.

"_Waaaaaiiiit!_"

Both froze at the call, and Alice took a step back as a burst of air pulsed out as a tall figure landed in front of them. Shielding her eyes from the dust kicked up, she let the air clear for a moment before seeing who had just arrived.

Light gleamed, sparkling off of a star-shaped badge on the front of the new person's hat. Her green dress fluttered in the remaining wind from the landing, and she held out a hand, to halt their progress. "No one may enter the Scarlet Devil Mansion without first gaining the permission of… oh, it's you Miss Alice." The red-haired woman in front of them broke from her blocking pose.

"Hello, Meiling. You weren't at the gate."

"Eheh… I do have other duties, you know," the gate guard said. Indeed, in her hand was a watering can that sloshed with the liquid within. "No one had an appointment today, and the tsubaki need a lot of watering, and…"

"It's fine, Meiling," Alice said, holding up a hand to stall the other youkai's explanation. "I'm here to see Patchouli about something that's come up suddenly."

"Of course, of course! She shouldn't be busy with anything, so…" Meiling blinked, and turned, finally noticing Yuki. "Miss Alice, who is this?"

"This is Nagato Yuki, who, one could say, has suddenly come up."

Meiling nodded absently, looking at the short girl from one side and the other. "Well, I'm afraid that while you may enter freely, Miss Alice, Miss Nagato must wait outside."

"What?" Alice asked in surprise. "Why? She's accompanying me, and as I said has to do with the matter I need to discuss with Patchouli."

"That may be, but I cannot let someone with such a suspicious qi into the mansion. I'm afraid she must remain outside."

"Oh for…" Alice put a palm to her face in frustration. "She has no power to speak of, and if she really is trouble I promise that I'll take care of it myself."

"No! I must remain resolute in this. She feels wrong."

"Meiling, don't make me force the issue," Alice warned. Behind her, several of her dolls rose, wielding various weapons in miniature.

Tossing the water can off to the side, Meiling stamped on the ground as she took her stance, sending out another pulse of air and dust. "Then I have no choice! As guardian of the Scarlet Devil Mansion, it is my sworn duty to protect these grounds. I, Hong Meiling, accept your challenge!"

* * *

Author's Notes:

Mm… I had planned to have the chapter stop here and move on to the last of the SOS-dan members, but it seems a bit… teasing to leave it at this. So, next chapter will extend from here; Chapter 6-b, or somesuch.

In any case! It seems that Alice and Yuki are in a pinch! Barred from entry to the mansion, how will they ever make it to speak with the great and powerful Oz… er… Knowledge?

C&C is welcomed. Flames will frozen and shattered by THE STRONGEST!


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: All Touhou and Haruhi characters/settings belong to their respective creators. They are used here without expressed permission, but also without intent for personal profit.

…

Yeah… just that this time. I've got nothing.

* * *

Exciting Investigation of Eastern Mysteries

A Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya Crossover Fic

By Nathan Huss

* * *

"Spiral Light Steps!"

Alice floated sideways as Meiling lunged through the spot she had just been standing, the guard's outstretched fist covered in brilliant energy. Sending out several lesser dolls, the puppeteer released a wave of bullets towards her opponent.

"Water Taichi Fist!" Meiling called out as her hands wove in a circle, swirling the danmaku heading towards her harmlessly and dispelling them. As Alice took to the air she stomped on the ground once before leaping after with a shout of "Sky Dragon Kiiiick!"

"Meiling, what the hell are you doing?" Alice asked.

"Eh? I'm protecting the safety of the mansion!"

Alice could only sigh. "No! Shouting out all those silly phrases! They're not even Spellcards!" Several spear-wielding dolls were summoned, charging towards the red-haired youkai.

"Ah, heh heh heh," Meiling chuckled sheepishly even as she parried aside the blades. "Mistress Remilia recently finished with the latest issue of 'Fierce Fight: Battle for Mystic Paradise!' and let me read it. The characters are always shouting out their techniques, so I thought I'd try it as well to see how it works out!"

Alice nearly fell out of the sky upon that admission. "You can't be serious," she said flatly.

"Kick of Showering Brilliance!"

Three shield dolls were quickly activated, forming a magic barrier as Meiling zipped upward in the air to deliver a qi-infused kick towards Alice's head. The shield held, but the force behind it pushed the magician back down towards the ground. She managed to halt herself before actually impacting the ground, but was forced to skim away as Meiling crashed down after her, sending out faint ripples in the earth from the impact.

"You're not usually this energetic," Alice noted. Sword-dolls swarmed forward, blades twirling as she fell back from the martial artist's advance.

"It may not actually enhance the techniques themselves, but it certainly gets me into the spirit of things!" Meiling replied, grinning. "You should try it!" She circled around the dolls, angling towards Alice.

"Magic Sign: 'Artful Sacrifice.'"

Meiling's eyes widened. "Oh shi-!"

She was tossed back as a doll landing in front of her path and detonated. The blast threw her several meters where she skidded along the ground.

"That wasn't quite what I meant, Miss Alice," she said in a frazzled voice. Despite having taking the magically-enhanced explosive at nearly point-blank, Meiling was still able to roll to the side and kip-up to avoid several lasers which cut gouges in the dirt.

"Please be careful, Miss Alice!" Meiling complained. "I'll have to fix the grounds afterward!"

"If you really worry about that, then you should just let us pass now," replied Alice, releasing several waves of regular bullets. "I'm not about to stop just to keep you from having more work when you're the one who tried to stop me in the first place!"

"Water Taichi Fist!"

The puppeteer only groaned as Meiling continued to fight. Why couldn't things be simple? Yakumo had said that looking after Yuki wouldn't be hard. Well, actually she had said that Yuki would all but look after herself, and just needed to be kept out of trouble, but… damnit!

"Yellow Quake Kick!" Meiling had closed in on her, and with a powerful stomp to the ground sent out tremors that caused Alice to stumble, her dolls faltering as she had to concentrate on not falling down. Unlike her opponent, Alice wasn't quite as nimble in her own movements. "Red Cannon!"

Alice was only barely able to jerk her head to the side as Meiling's fist jabbed upward. The pressure from the attack still sent her reeling, and the accompanying burst left a ringing in her ears even as she left several puppets in her wake to slow down the red-haired woman from following.

Fine. If Meiling wanted a serious fight, then she'd get it. Meiling was trying to hamper her movements? Not a bad idea.

"War Command: 'Dolls of War!'"

Over a dozen blade-wielding dolls fanned out, slashing in circles as they swarmed to surround the gate guard. Surprisingly, Meiling only smirked at the oncoming storm of the spellcard.

"Ultimate Color: 'Mad Colorful Dance!'" Twirling on one foot, a tornado of rainbow-colored qi surrounded Meiling, battering aside the attacking dolls as they spiraled against each other. Swords broke and shattered, and as both spellcards ended Meiling was untouched, smiling triumphantly.

"Ha! Even armies can't stand against a true master of martial arts!" she crowed. "Quantity will never supplant-"

"Focus Power: 'Trip Wire.'"

"-quality?"

With a small clump of dolls had not been a part of the War Command behind Meiling, and her spellcard lasting just a few crucial moments longer for Alice to get into position herself, the guard was taken by surprise as beams of energy arced between doll and master, with herself in between.

"Aauuugh!"

Once the energy surge ended, Meiling lay twitching on the ground, her hair and clothes smoking slightly.

"Fortunately, I have quality on top of quantity. Do you want to continue?" Alice asked, several dolls floating beside her.

"Don' wanna train, unca…" Meiling warbled dazedly. "Wanna go see th' baby turtles in th' pond…"

"I'll take that as a 'no.'"

Pulling in her remaining dolls, Alice walked back to where Yuki stood, having watched the entirety of the battle without moving a step. "Sorry for the delay."

Yuki nodded once before looking back toward where Meiling was lying on the ground.

"Oh, don't worry about her," Alice said. "She's a youkai as well, so this much damage isn't a problem in the long run. In any case, we can proceed to see Patchouli now."

"Actually, the Mistress would like the two of you to join her for midday tea."

While one could never exactly get used to maids using time-halting powers to appear out of nowhere, Alice at least was able to recover quickly due to past experience. Glancing towards Yuki, she found that the young girl was staring at the newly-arrived Sakuya, though whether out of shock or just to examine her was hard to tell. From the otherwise indifferent lack of reactions the girl had displayed so far, the moving of at least a full two steps back seemed to indicate the former to at least some degree.

"I would really prefer to head to the Library, Sakuya," Alice said, weighing her choices. "I'd like to get this all over as soon as I can."

The silver-haired maid inclined her head slightly. "The Mistress insisted."

Drat… Oh well. Alice supposed she should have expected this. She could take Sakuya… probably. The fight with Meiling hadn't strained her that much, but she had used several spellcards during it, and getting right into another with the maid when she was now delayed as it was from seeing Patchouli…

"All right," she sighed. "Might as well get this over with. Come on, Yuki."

* * *

As soon as the main door of the mansion shut close after the three, Meiling sat up and sighed.

"Sheesh… There's been nothing going on, and now Remilia made me cut things short," she said to herself as she looked at the cracked and churned up ground that had gotten blasted during the fight. "Well, I suppose the damage isn't too bad. Not really worth it, though, for such a short battle…"

The red-haired youkai flopped back onto the ground and pulled her cap over her eyes. "Eh… I'll start cleanup after a nap… just a short one…"

* * *

Walking through the halls of the Scarlet Devil Mansion was a hassle.

Well, that wasn't exactly true, Alice had to concede. The mansion was quite nice overall, having a western styling and ornamentation (though a bit intentionally foreboding, due to the owner's reflected self-image), comfortably heated or cooled, and well-maintained premises.

The hassle was that Sakuya was showing off all of this to Yuki by taking what could be termed 'the scenic route.' Alice had been here before, and knew for certain that considering how far they had traveled they should have reached whatever chamber Remilia was waiting for them in, but they continued to walk past portraits, looming suits of armor, statues, and whatnot.

Speeding up her pace slightly to match Sakuya, Alice hissed, "How long are you going to draw this out?"

"What do you mean, Alice?"

"Seriously, I know Remilia likes to show off, but…" She glanced back to where Yuki was trailing behind the two of them. "I'm fairly sure she hasn't so much as turned her head since you started this little 'tour.'"

Sakuya's shoulders slumped vaguely. "I suppose. What is she, by the by? If not for the lack of joints and that she has actual skin, I'd almost think she was one of your dolls done to scale."

Alice frowned. "Some sort of shikigami, the way she told it. To some youkai from past the moon."

"Oh? Might want to show her to Ran or Kaguya."

"Ran likely already knows, as Yukari was the one to drop Yuki off at my house before wheedling my assistance," Alice sighed. "Kaguya or Eirin might not be a bad idea, though. In any case, she doesn't seem to have any powers, though she claims they are… how did you describe it, Yuki?"

"IDSE connection unavailable. Personal data jurisdiction capacity and related programs blocked by encryption. Defragmentation and restoration of damaged data sectors at 47.2%, estimated completion no longer than 12 hours," the pale-haired girl stated.

Shrugging, Alice turned back towards Sakuya. "I have no idea what most of that means, aside from that she seems to be fixing whatever is supposed to be wrong with herself. Along with finding some companions she apparently had been with, I wanted to see if Patchouli could make any sense of that."

"I see," Sakuya murmured. "Well, perhaps Patchouli can indeed help with that, or Mistress Remilia, perhaps. I wish you luck on finding your friends, in any case," she said, nodding to Yuki for a moment. The girl didn't react immediately, but inclined her head after a moment.

Almost immediately the group came up to a set of large double doors which opened on their own. On the other side was a large dining hall. Once again, suits of armor, mounted trophies, and so forth covered the walls, and a vaulted ceiling which fortunately was only ornately carved rather than painted. Set in the middle of the room was a long dining table made of some heavy wood, with dozens of chairs placed along its side. At the head was a throne-like seat, upon which a little girl sat.

Alice sighed. Yes, Remilia was pulling out all the stops on being as impressive as she could. She wondered why, though for all she knew the vampire was just bored and doing this to kill time.

As they were led closer, Remilia stood up, spreading her arms and wings. "Welcome… to the Scarlet Devil Mansion. I am the mistress of the estate, Remilia Scarlet, also known as the Scarlet Devil."

"Hello, Remilia. Nothing else to do today?" Alice asked, unfortunately failing to cause any more of a reaction from the vampire than for her to lower her arms.

"Good afternoon, Alice Margatroid. So, who is this companion of yours, who is willing to tread into the lair of a… wait…"

Alice barely blinked, and Remilia was directly in front of her and Yuki, looking up at the latter with a critical eye. She slowly walked around the girl, poking her once or twice, receiving only a turn of the head to follow her in response.

Remilia looked to Sakuya. "This was the only one?"

"Yes, mistress," the maid answered. "Aside from Miss Alice, of course."

"Is something wrong?" Alice asked, surreptitiously adjusting her grip on the grimoire. "We've already had trouble with Meiling over some nonsense or another."

"What's your name?" Remilia asked, frowning.

"Nagato Yuki," the pale-haired girl replied. The vampire looked her over again before turning away.

"It was supposed to be someone else," Remilia said disgruntledly.

Alice blinked. "What are you talking about?"

Remilia walked back to her seat, with a distracted gesture for Alice and Yuki to follow. They took seats in the chairs nearest to her 'throne' as she settled back in.

"Patchy and I felt a disturbance yesterday from the direction of Reimu's shrine. I couldn't tell what it was, but it could have been entertaining. So, I made it so the most interesting person involved with it would arrive here. And this is what shows up." She gestured to Yuki.

Alice glowered at the vampire for a moment. "You're manipulating things? I got a visit from Yakumo because you were bored?"

Remilia blinked. "Oh, _she_ was involved? That makes more sense, then. Of course she could mess up things like this if she wanted to bother."

"How do you even know that Yuki isn't the 'interesting person' you wanted?" Alice asked. "Some of the things she's said to me, plus that she had Yakumo interested in her wellbeing, might warrant that."

"Oh, I suppose, but…" Remilia said, picking up her teacup and sipping. Alice glanced down to see that there was indeed a whole tea service laid out in front of the three of them, and a quick check revealed Sakuya standing behind and just to the side of Remilia's chair.

Tch. That was always annoying. "'But' what Remil-"

Alice nearly choked as, without warning, a crimson-tinged wave of darkness spread out from Remilia, darkening the entire hall. A dense red fog blanketed the floor and misted the air, until the only things visible were the glow from Remilia's eyes and… somehow… the glint of her fangs and silhouette of her wings.

Yuki blinked slowly. "Psychological provocation?"

Remilia sighed, and the miasma and darkness receded into nothing. "Emotions so tightly reined in that I'm not even interested in a taste of her. She smells wrong, as well. Hormones aren't right."

"The hell, Remilia!" Alice shouted. "Was that necessary to make whatever point you have?"

Remilia it off. "A human would have had _some_ reaction, usually gibbering in terror, and a proper youkai would have sensed the difference in power and reacted by either getting ready to fight or run," Remilia countered. "Her? Barely a drop of fear, a milligram of anger, a twitch of agitation."

Leaning forward, she stared Yuki in the eyes. "What are you, that you are so like a human but so not?"

"I am a Humanoid Interface, designed to observe and provide interaction with individuals of concern and importance to the goals of the Information Data Sentience Entity."

"Leave it at that," Alice interrupted. "I'd rather not go through the entire explanation again."

"A homunculus of some sort," Remilia said. "Interesting in its own way, I'll admit. Whoever made you must have only cared about the form of humanity, not so much the content… So, Miss Nagato, putting that aside, what do you hope to gain here in my mansion?"

"Alice expressed confidence in the availability of knowledge for me to locate the members of the group I was with before the unintentional violent breaching of hidden time-space region 'Gensokyou,' and volunteered to act as a guide and guardian as my current combat and data jurisdiction capacity have been restricted through damage or interference," Yuki said. "Having no direct and limited indirect knowledge of the workings and power structures of the local culture and environs, I determined it prudent to defer to her course of action."

Remilia nodded lightly through the explanation. "So, you're damaged? And I'm willing to bet Yukari is at least knowledgeable of whatever interference you mentioned, if not responsible. This group you were with… more beings like you, or would they be the 'individuals of concern'?"

A slight pause before Yuki responded. "Several possess attributes not ascribed to humanity in general."

Grinning with a hint of fang showing, Remilia spoke: "Cute. You aren't entirely impassive after all. That was very nearly an attempt at 'they can defend themselves from you' to keep me away." She sipped her tea. "Not that it will stop me, but it's nice to know that they'll be able to put up a fight."

The next thing Alice knew Yuki's chair was clattering against the floor and Sakuya was now fanning several knives in her hands. Remilia's throne was shattered, and the vampire was pressing Yuki into the fragments, twisting the girl's arms almost to the breaking point.

"Ha! No, not as impassive as you are at first glance at all, are you?" Remilia laughed, her grin even wider than before. "Oh, that was good, no mistake. Almost had me with that surprising speed of yours, but not nearly enough!"

She released the pale-haired girl and casually pulled her up. "Ah… too bad you're not at full strength. You'd definitely be interesting to fight if you were. Heh. Go on, then."

"Mistress?" Sakuya asked, knives still in hand.

"Bring them to Patchy," Remilia said flippantly. "She could use something to distract her from whatever research she's going though at the moment, though I doubt she'd agree. And get a new chair. One I actually like this time. Ooh, and some of that red velvet cake from the other day!"

"Of course, Mistress." Sakuya bowed, the knives vanishing from sight.

Yuki paused for several moments. "You dismiss me as a threat?"

"You've got good reflexes. Quick to decide on a course as well. I like decisiveness." Remilia smiled. "When you're back at full strength I'd enjoy seeing what a duel with you would be like. In the meanwhile, go on and find your friends. Feel free to bring them along for tea if you come by again. I'd love to chat with someone who can inspire such loyalty as to throw yourself at a vampire without concern for your own safety."

"…"

"They've nothing to fear from me for now. Now go. I'd like to finish my tea alone."

"Come on, Yuki," Alice said, taking the girl's arm and brushing off some of the dust and splinters from her coat. "We've taken long enough."

Sakuya opened the doors of the hall and led them out. As they closed behind the group, Alice could hear the clink of silverware on china, along with Remilia's delighted 'mmm!'

* * *

"That was annoying, though it could have gone far worse. How are your arms, Yuki?" asked Alice.

"Minimal damage. Physical data repair low priority at this juncture. I can function without difficulty."

"Good. You caught me off guard there. That speed of yours certainly lends credence to your ability to take care of yourself normally. Sakuya didn't even have a chance to throw any knives before you reached Remilia."

A soft sound of annoyance issued from the maid in front of them.

"Just don't do something like that again if you can help it. Especially with Patchouli, since we need her assistance. Not that I expect her to pull the same threat and taunt, but still, understand?"

"Yes."

"We are here," Sakuya said, stopping in front of another set of doors. "I trust you can handle yourselves from here on?"

"Yes, yes," Alice sighed. "You can return without worrying about us causing more trouble. Not that Remilia seemed to mind."

"The Mistress is most generous like that. Until later, Miss Alice. Miss Yuki." With a flicker, the maid was gone.

"Vital energy amplification and materialization, temporal and spatial dilation, cause-effect influence…" Yuki said.

"Hm? Oh, yes. Odd abilities, though obviously powerful. Patchouli is much less odd in that regard. Surprised you could identify them, though you were able to notice Sakuya's earlier when we were still outside."

"References to those or similar appear multiple times in contemporary literature, and my observation capacities are mostly uncorrupted. Use of space-time manipulation similar to non-self-contained data jurisdiction, if different in process utilized. Extrapolation of the general nature is unproblematic, though ascertaining limits would require further observation."

"That can wait for another time," Alice said. "We're here… finally… so let's check with Patchouli and get out before anything else happens to delay us." With that, she threw open the doors and strode into the library.

"Patchouli! Patchouli, it's Alice! Where are you?"

There was a series of loud thumps from one of the side racks, followed by some muffled groaning. Alice headed in the direction of the noise: "Patchouli?"

Underneath a small pile of books, a red-haired girl was rubbing her head. Two small, bat-like wings poked out from her hair, which tentatively flexed even as she grumbled to herself.

"Ah, Koakuma," Alice said. "Where's Patchouli?"

"Oh, I'm just fine, Miss Alice. Nothing bruised or broken from when you burst in shouting just now."

Alice rolled her eyes. "Sorry. It's been an overall irritating day so far." Several dolls swarmed out to pick the various books off of the other woman.

Koakuma stood up and straightened out her uniform. "Was there something you needed from Mistress Patchouli, Miss Alice?"

"I ended up taking… temporary supervision… of a newcomer to Gensokyou. She ended up separated from her friends, and I figured that Patchouli could help with a divination as to where they might be."

"Oh. I suppose so," Koakuma said. "Patchouli is over in the lower shelves at the moment. So who is the person that you're doing this for?"

"Ah, right. Yuki, this is Koaku… ma…" Alice turned around, and saw that there was no one behind her. "Yuki?"

She dashed back to the entrance of the library, but the girl wasn't their either.

"Is something wrong Miss Alice?" Koakuma asked, following.

Alice grit her teeth. "Just the day becoming more frustrating."

* * *

Author's Notes:

And so the tale of Yuki's entry to Gensokyou ends. Took a bit longer than I planned, but it's written. Time to move on to the next… Let's see… *looks at cast chart* Tsuruya? No… Kyon's sister? Nah… Asakura? Don't think so…

Oh, right. Haruhi.

So, just the Leader herself, and then I can move on to actual PLOT! I did have one, right? Hm…

Anyway, C&C is welcomed as usual. Flames will be used to grill eel at Mystia's stand.


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: It's mine! At long last it's mine! I finally have the… what? Touhou? Haruhi? No, I don't own those. I was ranting about something else entirely.

* * *

Exciting Investigation of Eastern Mysteries

A Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya Crossover Fic

By Nathan Huss

* * *

_*Thump*_

Haruhi's first thought on appearing alone in the middle of a small field… after checking herself over to make sure nothing else had happened to her… had been that she needed to find the rest of the Brigade. Koizumi, as the Deputy Chief, would be able to take care of himself until Haruhi found him. No one she had hand-picked for such an important position would be defenseless, even in such unusual circumstances. It was the rest that would be in trouble. Mikuru was only a moe-moe girl, and wouldn't be used to roughing it with no preparations, let alone dealing with wild animals or those youkai the college students had mentioned. Yuki might have read something to help her get through things, but she didn't have much practical experience, especially with this kind of situation. And as for Kyon… well, it went without saying there, now didn't it?

Figuring out where to start looking for them had been the first problem. A quick check of her phone showed no signal, nipping that quick solution in the bud. Having to do it the old-fashioned way, the Brigade Chief had taken stock of her surroundings. The field she had appeared in was vacant save for a few scattered bushes and trees, the only other notable sight being the mountain taking up most of the southeast, its lower reaches covered in a thick forest and various twirls of smoke drifting into the sky from various hidden spots. That had seemed the best place to start, as the smoke might be from campfires or houses on the mountain, which would mean people to get to help her search.

_*Thump*_

Of course, even at her best jog (running full-out without making sure what was in front wasn't a good idea, as narrow miss of an inconvenient burrow hidden in the grass convinced her) it had still taken a decent amount of time. Even when she came across a dirt path, it meandered rather than head straight towards the mountain (though it did seem to be heading in that general direction). It wasn't the worst thing, though, as it was a clear, sunny day, with only the light chill of autumn. Small flocks of birds flew through the sky, looking for food in preparation for the eventual coming of winter. All very peaceful and tranquil.

Haruhi was, of course, utterly disappointed.

_*Thump*_

Where were the oni? Where were the tengu? Where were the ghosts, youkai, fairies, and witches? If it weren't for the matter of how she had gotten there, the lack of any structures, and how clean the air felt, she wouldn't have been surprised if this were just some really expansive nature park or something. But this was supposed to be… no, it _had_ to be Gensokyou! So where were they?

Ok, she was willing to admit that, much as she had told Kyon, a bright, clear day at about… hm… midday? Early afternoon? A quick glance at her watch confirmed it as such. Anyway, that wasn't the time to really be spotting things like ghosts, and since there wasn't a river nearby kappa weren't really expected, and she didn't know about oni or tengu or other youkai (though overall they did usually live in caves often enough in the stories. More reasons to head for the mountain), but what about fairies! She hadn't seen any of them!

… which wasn't as important as finding the rest of the Brigade, of course. Though it still felt like a bit of a rip-off.

_*Thump*_

After a while Haruhi finally reached the forest as the path skirted along the treeline. For a moment she considered heading into the woods straight for the mountain, but eventually decided not to bother. An actual path that was clear of overgrowth, even an unpaved one, at least meant that people traveled it relatively often, and that there was somewhere for there to be a path _to_. As such, it was the best lead she had.

_*Thump*_

It was only a little bit after that that Haruhi found her first Gensokyou native. At first she hadn't registered it, but soon enough she noticed a number of muffled impacts coming from within the tree line. Rushing in to investigate, it didn't sound quite like an animal of any sort. The noise kept moving slightly, and only seemed to be a single impact each time. It didn't sound like an axe either, but…

Haruhi squeezed her eyes shut and flailed her arms in front of her as a gust of wind blew a cloud of dead leaves into her face. The rustling debris took longer than she expected to die down, but once she was able to see again and began picking them out of her clothes and hair, she noticed that the trees in this area were… bare. Completely.

Not that it would have been surprising to see for the leaves to be falling off the trees. It was autumn, after all. However, in front of Haruhi not a single one wasn't on the ground, covering it in a thick blanket of reds, yellows, and orange. She turned around and looked back up at the trees immediately behind her, their branches still filled with similar colors.

_*Thump*_

The sound brought Haruhi's attention back to ground level, and she immediately headed in the direction it had come from. Crunching through the piles of dead leaves, she hurried excitedly to find out who or what could have been causing this strange phenomenon. Finally rounding the trunk of a tree, she spotted the source.

Moving through the dense, rustling layer was a young, blond-haired (with leaves stuck to it?) woman who seemed to be rising right out of the ground. Her dress at first glance appeared to be merged with the leaves, and it wasn't until she stopped in front of a tree and raised her leg that Haruhi saw that the hem of the red-orange dress was only patterned in the shape of leaves rather than actually made of them, blending into the fallen leaves on the ground until she raised her foot.

_*Thump!*_

With a solid kick the woman hit the base of the tree, and despite her thin stature it sent up a vibration that rippled up to the very top of the highest branches. Then, as she turned away towards the next, all the leaves shivered and dropped in an avalanche of color.

Haruhi had to admit she was impressed. Knocking down leaves wasn't particularly interesting thing, granted, but it was definitely being done in an interesting way that a normal human couldn't do. Was the woman a tree-kicking youkai of some sort?

That caused a brief frown, as Haruhi couldn't recall ever hearing about anything like that. Admittedly she hadn't really researched that kind of thing, but she had had a casual interest even before the visit to the lake shrine. Oh well. There was only one way to find out!

Stepping out from behind the cover of the tree, she called out "Hey! Are you a-"

The woman spun around immediately and slashed her hand through the air. Before Haruhi could finish her question she was forced to cover her face as a wave of leaves flew up at her from the ground. Reeling backwards she tripped over a tree root and ended up on the forest floor as the leaves continued to swarm around her.

"You can't see her!" came a growl. Haruhi tried to open her eyes to look, and just managed to see the woman stalking through the storm without the leaves even touching her despite the storm. "She tried her best even with all the weird weather, and you _still_ complain about the crops. Maybe if you actually bothered to offer faith when you didn't _need_ to she could do more, but that's all you get for only bothering one season out of the year! So you don't get to see her anymore if I have anything to say about it!"

"What...? I'm not…!" Haruhi tried to speak up, but was pushed down by another wave of leaves.

"If you think we're not doing a good enough job, why don't you go see those gods on top of the mountain? Yasaka is a god of wind and rain, and the priestess can control the wind, so why aren't you all complaining to them about it? Oh no, _them_ you don't bother, that would be disrespectful. You'd have to climb the mountain to even talk to them. But the two of us, right next door, who have been here for generations? Well, it's just the Aki sisters. If they get upset they can't do anything anyway."

The woman slumped, and the leaves began to drift down normally, no longer being controlled. Haruhi took the opportunity to scramble to her feet, brushing off her clothes and hair and spitting out a few bits of leaf that had gotten into her mouth. Her eyes were veritably sparkling, however, and she looked at the one who had just assaulted her with a huge grin.

Hearing Haruhi get back up, the woman sighed and sent a tired glance in her direction before blinking and tilting her head. "Those aren't normal villager clothes…" she began. "And what is that…?"

"That was incredible!" Haruhi crowed. "How did you do that? Magic powers? Are you a tengu? A witch? Some sort of leaf-youkai?"

"I'm a goddess!" the woman shouted. "Aki Shizuha, goddess of Autumn! I'm no youkai of any sort!"

Haruhi's grin widened. "A god? Like Orihime and Hikoboshi? Or Inari? Or maybe…"

Shizuha smiled a little unevenly. "Well, maybe not quite as prominent as them, but yes… I am one of the Goddesses of Gensokyou's Autumn, in charge of the turning and falling of leaves."

"So that's why you were kicking the trees and they would all fall off the branches! Though that's kind of… well, it's awesome, but not really what you really think of how gods do things."

Grimacing, Shizuha replied, "Well, it's quicker than plucking them off one by one, and I've just really needed to work off some frustration since… well…" She looked at Haruhi again, squinting for a moment. "I'm sorry, but… just who are you?"

Grabbing the goddess' hand and shaking it vigorously, Haruhi answered. "Suzumiya Haruhi, founder and chief of the SOS-dan! Oh, this is going to be awesome! That'll show Kyon… always being a stick in the mud, saying my ideas aren't good, and here I'm meeting an actual goddess! I knew it!"

"'SOS-dan?' I've never heard of it," Shizuha said, a bit disoriented from Haruhi pumping her hand. "It's not from the village, is it?"

"What village? We came on a train to see the shrine, but then we didn't find anything but our friend disappeared, and then there was this weird wind, and then I woke up in a field back that way-" she pointed back out of the forest, "- and headed towards the mountain because I saw smoke so I figured there would be some houses or something, and then I heard you kicking the trees, and saw you and when I was going to ask about it you went all…" Haruhi finally let go of Shizuha, and swung her arms through the air demonstratively.

The self-proclaimed goddess blinked, and then pointed a finger at the girl. "Y-you… you're from Outside? From outside Gensokyou?"

Haruhi's rapid nod caused Shizuha to bury her face in her hands. "Oh no… Minoriko is going to let me have it for this…"

"Who's that?"

"My sister… Minoriko Aki, goddess of Gensokyou's autumn harvest. She'd been getting a bunch of villagers complaining this year due to the crops being messed up from all this weird weather that happened during the summer… which we have no control over, I should add. I've been trying to keep any more from bothering her even though she told me not to, and I now I just attacked someone who isn't even from here…" She groaned.

"It's fine, it's fine," Haruhi said. "I mean, kinda scary right then, but it was amazing to see something like that actually happen! I'm just super lucky I was actually able to find someone like you. What else can you do, huh? Can you control the trees too? Or is it just the leaves?"

Shizuha straightened up and smiled, gesturing around them. "It's very important work for autumn to properly happen. The leaves falling are a very important part of the season. First I have to change the colors of the leaves so that their passing is that much more beautiful. If it was just the same green leaves it would hardly make a substantial impression to see them swirling in a breeze. Plus, since the trees don't have to support and grow their leaves, they can last through the winter, saving their strength for spring. And don't get me started on how much snow and ice the leaves would catch if they didn't come down. Any year when there's an early frost I can just about feel the limbs straining under the weight. I just wish I could do it longer, but…" She sighed, closing her eyes. "It never lasts. Sooner or later all the leaves are done, and winter arrives… Though that transience is part of their beauty…"

She blinked, and then looked back to Haruhi. "Oh, pardon me. I just get that way sometimes when I think about my work."

"It's no problem!" Haruhi said. "I mean, when I really get into something I can be the same way. I just wish that the rest of the Brigade was here to meet you as well, but since I don't know where they are…"

"You're lost?"

"Only a little! And they're probably worse off than I am when that weird wind split us up. I was heading for the mountain since I saw the smoke, and then I heard you."

Frowning, Shizuha nodded in thought. "A weird wind? Might have been one of the tengu, though they don't usually bother outsiders unless they try to intrude on Youkai Mountain. They'd be more likely to try for an interview…"

"'Interview'?"

"All right! Since you've been really nice about that misunderstanding, I'll help you out!" said Shizuha. "We'll head back to my house to let Minoriko know what's going on, then I'll take you up the mountain to see if the tengu or Moriya shrine know anything about your friends." With that, she lifted up into the air and began threading her way between the trees. "Let's go."

Haruhi could only stare as the goddess flew off. Then she shook her head and ran off after, a huge smile on her face even as she shouted for Shizuha to wait up.

* * *

"This is where you live?" Haruhi asked. "Kinda…"

"Yes. I know it isn't much, but it's home," replied Shizuha. "Come on in."

Haruhi looked over the place. It was a modest one-story house made of wood with a straw roof, looking for all the world like a peasant farmer's home out of a samurai movie, albeit a well-constructed one. There was even a large, fenced-off garden to the side filled with various vegetables just ready for picking with a storage shed a bit beyond it, and a small trail of smoke drifted up from the roof as the smell of… sweet potatoes…? wafted through the air. Shrugging to herself, she followed Shizuha inside as the goddess opened the door and walked inside.

"I'm home!"

"Welcome back," came an answering call from just inside.

As she looked around on entering, Haruhi easily spotted who she presumed to be Minoriko, who stood up from apparently tending to a small fire and pot in the hearth. The resemblance between the two women was fairly obvious, both of them having similar skin and hair. Minoriko was wearing somewhat more elaborate clothing, however, with a red dress and apron, a yellow blouse, and a hat that had a bunch of grapes set on it. Haruhi had to pause and tilt her head as she looked at the fruit, wondering if they were real or fake.

"Oh? Who's this, Shizuha?" the woman asked.

"Ah, this is Haruhi," the leaf-goddess leaned in a bit. "She's an Outsider. I ran into her a little while ago, and she'd gotten separated from her friends and was looking for them. I was going to take her up to see the Moriyas to see if they knew anything." She turned around and gestured Haruhi forward. "Haruhi, this is my sister, Aki Minoriko, Goddess of the Harvest. Minoriko, Suzumiya Haruhi, Chief of the…" she paused for a moment, "… S-U-S-dan?"

"SOS-dan," Haruhi corrected. "I founded it myself!" Somewhat belatedly, she bowed to Minoriko. "Pleased to meet you!"

"I'm happy to meet you, as well," Minoriko said. "That's certainly an interesting name for a group."

"Thanks! It's had its ups and downs keeping it going properly, but this is just the kind of thing it was founded for! Aside from the rest of the brigade ending missing."

"Are you sure they're here in Gensokyou?" asked Minoriko. "It's not often that people end up here from Outside, and not usually in large groups."

Haruhi nodded her head. "They've got to be. First Koizumi… ah, he's the Deputy Chief… he vanished while we were investigating this shrine, then there was this weird wind, then the others disappeared one by one, and then I showed up here! There's no way they're not somewhere around here!"

Both goddesses looked at each other, and nodded. "It does sound about right," Shizuha said. "At least, as much as I've heard about this kind of thing. If they vanished around the Border, Gensokyou is the only place they could have ended up."

"You said you were near a shrine, though?" Minoriko asked. "I'd have thought you would end up near one of those; either the Moriya's or the Red-white miko's."

"'Red-white miko'?" Haruhi blinked in confusion. "There wasn't anyone at the shrine before everything happened, so I have no idea about that. Heck, I'm surprised you don't live at the shrine, since you're goddesses and all."

"Ah… the Red-white is the Hakurei miko. She's a trouble-maker, though she's important to Gensokyou's status," Minoriko said.

"And we live here rather than in a shrine because we're only active part of the year. Maybe if we had a priestess of our own who could look after the shrine the rest of the year, but who wants to even bother remembering us when it isn't even autumn?"

"Sister…"

Shizuha glanced off to the side. "Yeah, I know…"

Haruhi glanced between them. "Is she some sort of shrine thief or something? Did her family push you out of it? If she did, I'd be willing to show her!"

"No, no!" Both goddesses shook their head violently, as Minoriko continued. "The Hakurei have been around as long as Gensokyou itself. She's just a violent brute is all, blasting everyone around her if they so much as look at her wrong."

"If anything, the people who would be likely to be shrine thieves are the Moriyas," Shizuha said.

Quirking an eyebrow at that, Haruhi asked, "And you want me to go see them for help?"

Shizuha grimaced. "They brought their own shrine with them, thankfully, but they're really… pushy about gaining faith. They tried to take over the mountain, and even made an attempt on the Hakurei Shrine to get rid of the competition."

"The miko beat them down when they did that," Minoriko said, before giggling. "Something good that came from the Red-white, at least. They've calmed down since, but they're kind of shifty still. If they think that they can get faith from helping you, though, so they'll do it."

"If you say so," Haruhi said dubiously. "So, when can we head up there? I want to find everyone so we can explore Gensokyou. Plus they might be in trouble, so the sooner the better."

"Hm… it would probably be better to wait a while, now that I think of it," Shizuha said.

"What? How can I wait when the others are out there, probably looking for their Chief? It would be a dereliction of duty!"

"It's just that it's getting towards the end of the current guard shift on the mountain," Shizuha explained. "The tengu guards tend to get a bit testy near the end of their patrols, and since you can't fly we'll be easy to catch if they feel like making trouble even when sticking to the main paths."

"So? You're gods! Just curse them or something."

"We're gods of autumn. Cursing isn't really something we do."

Minoriko thought for a moment. "There's always Hina, but she doesn't like doing stuff like that."

"Who's that? Another sister?" Haruhi asked.

Shizuha waved her hand, dismissing the question. "No way. She's a curse goddess. Keeps to herself usually. If you get near her, the curses she keeps might leak out and get you."

"She tries to protect people, but just being around her can be dangerous," Minoriko said. "And having her release her curses intentionally, on the tengu for doing their jobs? Unless they were really out of hand, she wouldn't even consider it."

Haruhi frowned. "Whatever. We can just tell the tengu that I need to see the shrine. If the goddesses up there want people to come there shouldn't be a problem anyway."

"It's not a complete problem, but the fact that you're an Outsider, who they're suspicious of normally, going to see gods who came from Outside, right out of the blue…"

"What's suspicious about me? Are they paranoid or something?"

"A little bit, yes," Minoriko said, moving back to the hearth. "Plus, you are a bit… hm…"

"'A bit' what?" Haruhi asked. "I'm just a high school student!"

Shizuha nodded with a look of comprehension. "Oh… 'high school student?' That explains things. So is the priestess up there from what she says."

Haruhi blinked at the two of them, and then shook her head in frustration. "Whatever. I can't just sit here doing nothing! How about flying up? If you carry me we could be up there in no time I'd bet!"

"No way…" said Shizuha. "I can head up there myself because of my autumn duties, but carrying a human that they've never seen? Putting aside that carrying anyone would slow me down we'd be easy targets

"Well… when was the last time you ate?" Minoriko asked, forestalling Haruhi's response. "Had you been looking for your friends very long?"

"I ate an early breakfast because we were going to see the shrine, but we were going to have something later on."

"Would you like something, then? I have some stew that's just about ready. It was going to be for later on, but it's more than ready to eat now."

Grimacing, Haruhi put a hand over her stomach. She had been getting a little hungry, but it had been nothing major compared to finding out where Kyon and everyone were, but now that she had nothing to do but wait. "Yeah, that would be good. Thanks."

Minoriko nodded, and reached for a bowl and ladle. "Here, though be careful not to burn your tongue."

Haruhi accepted the food as it was portioned and offered, and dug in immediately. "Mm… S'good!" she exclaimed as she continued to eat.

"Of course!" Minoriko said proudly as she set up a kettle to boil. "I only use the freshest ingredients, naturally, and they've all ripened to perfection! When you think about autumn, it's about the food, after all."

"Mm…" Shizuha hummed as she spooned herself a bowl of the stew. "Don't be silly, sister. You think about the leaves. You can't miss them."

"Only near the forests," countered the other goddess. "In the fields there's just the harvest being gathered, and preparing for the coming winter. Leaves blowing through the wind offer a soothing view, but soon enough lie on the ground."

"It's that impermanence of their flight that makes it all the more worthwhile. The leaves fall from the trees, dance through the air, and upon resting on the ground prepare the earth for the plants in spring to grow and bear new leaves, which fall come our season to begin the cycle once again."

"The harvest has its own transitory nature as well." Minoriko sniffed haughtily. "The slow growth and care of the crops imprints them in the minds of the farmers. Upon collection, their time slowly winds away to be cooked and provide for the body of the farmers. Leaves can appeal only to one's sight, while the meal will appeal to sight, smell, taste, and touch, and hearing if you include the sounds of the boiling pot or sizzling grill."

"But the visual aspect of leaves _concentrates_ the impression one gets from it. Though, it's not _just_ sight; there's the sound of their crinkling, the scent in the air…

Haruhi, still eating after taking a second helping, watched incredulously as the two goddesses continued to argue about which aspect was better, each of course promoting their own domain. It was only due to a lack of heat in their words that she didn't suspect the situation of being just short of a fight. She wondered what would happen if the two did decide to fight. Shizuha had been able to take her down with just leaves. Who knew what they could do when fighting someone on the same level as themselves?

She shivered and edged closer to the hearth. Was it getting chilly? Her watch didn't say it wasn't too late, though for all she knew Gensokyou didn't match up with the normal world for that to matter. A glance out of the window to check the sun showed it still at a good height… as well as letting her catch a glimpse of blue hair and eyes duck down from peeking just over the sill.

Haruhi just about leapt for the window, startling the Aki sisters.

"Wha- what is it?" Minoriko asked.

"I saw someone! It was… ah! There!" Haruhi exclaimed, pointing outside.

Right at the edge of the Akis' garden were two young girls… no older than Kyon's sister, if that, and shorter regardless… or at least that's what Haruhi thought at first. Both were wearing blue dresses, but at each of their backs was a shimmering that took a moment for her to recognize as wings. One of them… a green-haired girl… had ones that looked like golden insect wings which twitched slightly in the air. The other… the owner of the blue hair Haruhi had spotted… had ones that appeared to be… multiple sets of ice crystals?

"What are they…? Get out of there!" Minoriko shouted from beside Haruhi, almost falling through the window as she leaned out and pointed at the two outside. "You'd better not be… hey!"

The two girls spun at the goddess' shout, eyes wide. On seeing that they had been spotted, the blue-haired one shoved the other and shouted "Go, go!" before turning to the house and thrusting out her arms.

Haruhi yelped as she was pulled back by the collar of her shirt, only to stop and stare in shock as the window was suddenly sealed by a layer of ice.

"Ooh… that fairy!" Minoriko growled. "Shizuha!"

"I've got her!" responded the other sister, already out and rounding the building. Haruhi heard several pops and saw the walls of the house rattle slightly as several yelps were issued. Scrambling for the door to get a better look, she once again was pulled back just in time to see several icicle shards fly past like arrows.

"Keep back!" Minoriko said. "That may just be a fairy, but she's a troublesome one. Just stay in here!" With that, the goddess ran to join her sister.

Of course, Haruhi immediately followed, though cautious of more frozen projectiles.

Once outside, she could only watch in awe as three figures flew through the air. The sister goddesses were releasing waves of glowing spheres at the girl that was apparently a fairy, who was in turn returning fire with a multitude of ice shards. All three of them dipped and jinked to avoid the opposing attacks while returning fire. Haruhi could barely keep up with it all, having to jump aside several times to avoid being hit by either sides' misses as wave after wave was thrown around.

Suddenly, the blue-haired fairy threw out her arms wide. Haruhi wondered why she was making a bigger target when the girl shouted "Perfect Freeze!" and the temperature almost instantly dropped. There was a shimmer in the air, followed by a flash, and then all of Shizuha and Minoriko's glowing balls hung motionlessly in the air, coated in ice. The two goddesses stared in shock as ice shattered along with their spheres, and then had to begin dodging frantically as the fairy began firing again.

"Ahaha! Two on one, three on one, even five on two! Even if you make yakimo, I'll just have kuzumochi instead!" the fairy crowed. "No leaf-plucker or dirt-stomper can beat me!"

"'Dirt-stomper'?" said Minoriko indignantly.

"'Leaf-plucker'? Why you little…!" Shizuha sputtered. "I'm not about to let some fairy mock us like that!"

"Hmph! You should just take an early nap! It may not be winter yet, but I'm at the strongest chilling! There's nothing that-"

_*Thump!*_

"-makes froggies pickle like shaved ice…" the fairy slurred as she rapidly drifted down to the ground. Both goddesses blinked and looked down between where Haruhi stood in the garden, and the now-split-open kabocha squash she had just thrown had landed.

"Didn't mean to hit her _that_ hard…" Haruhi mused as she walked over to where the two descended. "From the way it looked I thought she was tougher than that."

"She's a fairy. A fairly strong fairy even being out of her favored season, but still a fairy," said Minoriko. "Hm… what should we do with her?"

The three of them looked down at the blue-haired girl, who was lying on her back cradling her head in her hands.

"The other fairy already got away," Shizuha said. "Probably long gone by now. Let's just pop this one so she can't bother us for a while. Maybe being dead will warn her off."

"… Wait, _dead?_" Haruhi shrieked. "You can't be thinking of killing her!"

"It's not a big deal. Considering how powerful she is, and the approach of winter, dying would only get rid of her for a few hours at best." Shizuha shook her head. "But it would be an inconvenience and might disorient her enough to wander back to her home."

"No way!" Haruhi stood between the goddesses and the fairy, arms spread out. "I want to meet all the kinds of people here, so we're not 'popping' anyone before I can even talk to them! Or after, even!"

"It's not like fairies can really die… permanently, I mean," Minoriko said.

"No!"

The two goddesses shared a look, and then sighed. "Fine," Shizuha relented. "It was only an idea. But you keep her out of trouble then. She tries to steal from us again, and…"

"Yeah, got it," Haruhi said. "I'll take care of it, don't worry."

"Good luck with that. We'll be seeing just how much damage she and her friend caused."

The Akis headed over to survey the damage. Glaring at their backs for a moment, Haruhi nodded to herself once and turned back to the fairy, who was now sitting up and sulking, even as she gingerly rubbed the spot where the squash had impacted.

"So! I'm-"

"Wasn't _fair_," the girl said, shooting a pointed look at Haruhi. "Weren't flying up with us, so weren't part of the duel. So it wasn't fair! You only surprised me 'cause of that, so you didn't _really_ beat me…"

"Excuse me for not being able to fly," replied Haruhi, crossing her arms. "Besides, you were stealing, so you don't exactly have room to be complaining."

"Wasn't stealing. Maybe… Came down from fighting the toad, and was a bit hungry, but didn't take anything yet! Woulda probably asked, but then the fall sisters showed up and started shouting." The fairy hunched over. "Woulda beat them. I'm strong; I even almost beat Marisa last spring! And I did win against all the fairies, so I'm the strongest!"

"No excuses! So long as I'm here, you knock it off, and I'll make sure they don't try to start anything either."

"Hmph… who're you, anyway?"

"I'm Suzumiya Haruhi!" she proclaimed, beaming. "Founder and Chief of the 'Spreading Excitement all Over the World with Suzumiya Haruhi Brigade,' also known as the SOS-dan! Mission statement: to find aliens, espers, fairies, and all sorts of interesting beings and have fun with them!"

"Fairies?" That inclusion caused the blue-haired girl to perk up, looking up at Haruhi. "You really want to meet fairies? And play?"

"Of course! I want to meet all sorts of interesting people. Before coming to Gensokyou I was looking for espers, aliens, time travelers, and sliders, but couldn't find any. But here! There's goddesses, and tengu, and fairies, and more! I want to meet them all! I've only met the Akis and you so far, but it's still been amazing!"

The girl grinned and hopped to her feet. "I'm Cirno! I'm an ice fairy, and super-strong! Nice to meet you, Chief!"

"Same to you, Cirno!"

"So, so!" The fairy was jumping up and down, wings fluttering. "Do you want to play now? Maybe hide-and-go-seek? I can go get my friend and those three from by the shrine! Or, or how about tag? But maybe not 'cause you said you can't fly… We can go get a ball from the shopkeeper, or one of those kicking boxes! Or…!"

Haruhi couldn't help but giggle at both Cirno's sudden burst of energy and the suggestions for what they could do. It turned out she wasn't just a little girl in looks, but in her taste in games as well. Unfortunately…

"I can't," she apologized. "The rest of my Brigade is missing, and as Chief I need to find them to make sure they're all right. I can't go skipping out on my responsibilities, no matter how much I'd like to play with you."

"Oh…" Cirno said, looking down. "Yeah… the person in charge has to do stuff like that. It's really hard when I have to do that! So what are you gonna do?"

"The Akis said that the people up at the shrine on the mountain will help me. So once they figure it's safe to head up past the tengu, I'm going to see about it."

"Huh… why don't you just go now?"

"Apparently the tengu are really touchy about people showing up or something," Haruhi scoffed. "Which is pretty rude if you ask me, but since I don't know the way myself I have to wait until they think it's a good time."

"Aw…" Cirno pouted. "Just waiting is boring. You should take the fairy paths! Then you could be up and back and then we could all play!"

"Fairy paths?" asked Haruhi.

"I use them all the time and the tengu almost never bother me," the fairy said with a decisive nod. "They go all over the place, including to the top! I haven't gone that far, though… Only to the toad's pond for rematches."

Haruhi knelt down quickly and put her hands on Cirno's shoulders. "You can lead me through these fairy paths! It'd be a huge help!"

"Hey, yeah! Then you can find your friends, and then we can all have fun! Sure!" Cirno said. She grabbed Haruhi's hand, and started to fly towards the mountain, pulling the teenager along. "C'mon! Let's go!"

"Right!" Haruhi agreed, and turned to shout back to the goddesses. "Shizuha! Minoriko! Thanks for the help! I'll come back with everyone next time, I promise!" That done, girl and fairy sped for the mountain.

Coming out from around the side of the garden, Minoriko blinked as she caught a brief last glimpse of Haruhi disappearing into the woods. "Wha… where are you going? Wait! Oh, this can't be good… Shizuha! Problem!"

* * *

Author's Notes:

Well! Finally! A new chapter, and it only took a bit over a year… I think Haruhi was subconsciously interfering or something. Took me about 4 or 5 revisions/start-overs to get this done. But now it is!

Just to put up here; yes, I've seen Symposium of Post-Mysticism. Not using it, beyond any ideas I already had previous to its release that just happen to coincide. So no Kisume being a psycho-troll or whatever, for example.

Oh yeah… I'm on TVTROPES! Well, more like that EIoEM is on the "Fan Fic Recommendations" pages for Touhou and Haruhi. Still, very good for my ego.

Anyways… C & C & such are welcome. Things to the effect of "What took you so long?" and "The next one had better be out quicker!" will earn my undying enmity. Flames will be dumped in the Bamboo Forest of the Lost and then blamed on Mokou and Kaguya fighting.


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: I write stuff for fun, not for profit. This is some of that stuff. Thus, it is be that no profit is made from the creation of this stuff, as it's just for fun.

Hm… maybe I shouldn't have tossed that thesaurus out after the chapter 4 disclaimer…

* * *

"… Course, it was boring without her around. I thought about heading up there myself and take her back, but the others said she had agreed to do so, so I figured I wouldn't bother… yet. And since all the small fry were scared of what would happen when she _did_ come back, none of them were doing anything fun either so I just wandered around."

"If you had stopped by while I was gone, you should have cleaned up. When I got back there was dust and snow all over, and I think fairies had come through at least once or twice. Both you and Marisa, sheesh…"

"My, my. I had no idea. If you'd come to me, Lady Reimu, I would have been more than happy to take care of the grounds in your absence!"

"Hm… well, I just didn't think of it. Besides, I remember you would sleep a lot when it got cold…"

"Well, I _am_ a turtle, after all…"

"Wouldn't have mattered anyway, Reimu. After all, it would have just been a mess anyway when the Shrine got smashed!"

"Urg… don't remind me…"

Shifting slightly on the futon he had been laid down on, Koizumi half-listened to the ongoing conversation just outside the room. It was somewhat interesting that the participants felt no need to either move farther away or hush their voices beyond what they presumed might have disturbed him. One would have thought for a hidden world such as this there would be more of an attempt to obscure things from an 'Outsider.' Possibly they considered it pointless considering how much he had already witnessed.

Or maybe he was simply a bit too accustomed to the idea of keeping up a masquerade, for better or worse? Something to consider, perhaps.

Regardless, it appeared that things here were quite peculiar (aside from talking turtles and fairies and such). Vampires and ghosts and immortals… a trip to the moon, no less! Despite Hakurei Reimu's somewhat bored tone it all seemed very exciting. Though perhaps in being the one having to resolve all the happenings associated with these beings left her less impressed by them.

A bit like Kyon, Koizumi had to admit.

At least this was giving him more than adequate time to recover and compose himself. After that wave of disorientation had toppled him from the turtle Genjii's back, he had ended up falling more or less into the very lap of the person they had been going to see, Hakurei Reimu. Considering it had been while still at least several dozen meters above the ground (a fact that he was most thankful for, as due to the aftereffects of the likely spatial breach Koizumi had been left scrambling to call up his power and coming up short) all parties involved were more or less taken by surprise. On having the explanation given to her by Genjii, the miko had offhandedly allowed him to rest in her home, and while waiting the two old companions had ended up talking after Reimu had done something she had described as a 'patch job.'

The young girl who had shown up a little while ago, who had introduced herself to Genjii as 'Ibuki Suika' came across as fairly more boisterous as far as Koizumi could tell through merely overhearing (all right, eavesdropping on people who weren't particularly trying to keep quiet) of her shared experiences with Reimu. Perhaps a girl from a local town, who liked to pretend? Though considering how many individuals he knew already who had rather innocuous appearances compared to their abilities…

Sitting up, and finding that his previous headache had all but passed, Koizumi stretched and rose from the sleeping mat. Composing himself, he walked over to the door and stepped outside.

"Ah, you're up," Reimu said, glancing over at him. Genjii nodded towards him, the turtle's long beard trailing over the side of the engawa, and the miko's hand resting lightly on his shell. Another girl who looked just as young as Kyon's sister, bearing a pink and purple dress and carrying a rather large gourd bottle, shackles with chains leading off them on her wrists, and… yes, quite prominent horns sticking out of her ginger hair, with no immediate sign of being a mere ornament… stood idly just a little off to the side of the yard. "Feeling better?"

"Indeed. Thank you again for allowing me to rest here, as well as for catching me before," he replied, bowing. Now that his brain didn't feel like it was trying to be in three different dimensions at once and wasn't in danger of hitting the ground at a bit under terminal velocity, he was able to actually examine his rescuer and hostess.

She wasn't quite what Koizumi would have expected from a miko, especially one with true spiritual abilities. Her clothes, while certainly reminiscent of the sort of uniform associated with the role (and he had had a recent opportunity, after all, to see the females of the Brigade in such), were rather different. A red skirt rather than a hakama, a red sleeveless shirt rather than a white haori (the collar of the shirt was white, though, albeit tied with a blue ribbon), and odd disconnected white sleeves, apparently held on by ribbons tightening the fabric around her upper-arms. A large red bow sat high in her back-length dark hair, which fell loosely behind her other than for two short locks of hair framing her face with were held in shape by two red, cloth tube ornaments.

Her expression, again, reminded him rather of Kyon: a somewhat casual, just short of blasé attitude. Not that she was ignoring her companions, but despite their odd natures she barely seemed to register them as anything other than as the individuals they were. In fact, he seemed to be receiving more attention at the moment, and that was likely just due to his unfamiliarity and the condition he had been in when she first encountered him.

As he was appraising her, Reimu just waved his gratitude off. "No problem. I had a weird feeling to begin with before that light or whatever, so I was going in that direction when you fell off the old man. I was surprised to see a human falling out of the sky, but…" She shrugged.

"Still, I would have been in quite the predicament if you hadn't, Miss Hakurei. Giving you the proper thanks is the least I can do."

Another shrug. "If you insist. Oh, yeah. You know the old man already, but this is Suika," she said, gesturing toward the horned girl.

"Koizumi Itsuki. A pleasure," the esper said, bowing to the girl.

"Hmm? Oh, sure," Suika said absently, opening the gourd and drinking directly from it.

Koizumi quirked an eyebrow at the disinterest, but left it alone. Despite her earlier excitement, she might just not be all that interested in purely human affairs, or shy around strangers (though the idea of an oni being shy was somewhat comical in concept, so he rather doubted that considering her eager tone when talking with Genjii before).

Reimu stood up, patting Genjii on the shell as she did so. "I'm going make some tea. You want a cup?"

"Ah, that would be nice. So long as I'm not imposing."

"No problem. You're more polite than most guests I end up getting."

"Ne, if you talk about people like that even less people are going to come to the shrine, Reimu," Suika said, grinning.

"If less people come, it's because of all the youkai that keep dropping in when they feel like it. Anyway, you want some tea as well?"

"Nah, I'm good!" The little oni lifted the gourd to her lips again with a wide smile, causing Reimu to just shake her head and continue into the building.

"Glad to see you up so quickly, young Koizumi." Genjii shifted to face him. "I was quite worried when you became dizzy like that and fell off of me. It was good fortune that Lady Reimu was nearby, even if she won't take credit for helping as she has." The turtle chuckled to himself.

Koizumi just nodded with a smile. "As you say. I take it you've had a pleasant reunion?"

"Ah, indeed, indeed! She's just as I remember, if not more skilled! I always knew she'd be well, but it's quite nice to see it for oneself."

"Of course. I hope I wasn't interrupting anything when I arrived?"

"No, no," the turtle assured him. "Just hearing about her exploits. Which I quite enjoy, but there is plenty of time for that. I should like to know just what did end up disorienting you so much, young man. I won't claim that flight is for everyone, but you seemed to be doing quite well until that light, and while something of a startle I myself didn't feel anything awry. You had mentioned something about your friends?"

"Ah, yes. Though perhaps I should wait until Miss Hakurei returns so that she hears it as well. I wouldn't want to leave her out of things when she's been so accommodating."

"Quite the point, young man! If it concerns the Border she should be most interested in listening. I'll go help her prepare the tea so that we can all here your story the sooner." With that, the turtle floated off the porch and into the shrine.

Itsuki chuckled silently to himself watching Genjii fly, considering the oddness of how a creature not normally all that graceful on land could… supernatural or not… handle the air much more naturally. It was likely somewhat like swimming, he supposed in retrospect. As a human, enhanced or not, neither flight nor swimming was the typical means of movement, so his own-

His train of thought was interrupted by the tang of alcohol reaching his nose. Blinking in surprise, he turned to see Suika standing just a foot or so away, staring at him with half-lidded eyes, the smell of sake strong on her breath.

"Ah, Miss Suika. May I help you with something?" Koizumi asked, recovering from the surprise.

She just mumbled a small 'hmm' as she looked at his face. Unsure as to her purpose, he just smiled.

"I must say, I would not have expected a legendary oni to appear as you do," he continued. "Though I suppose I can hardly claim to have any true knowledge of such things aside from the more traditional depictions and modern reimaginings."

The small oni continued to just stare at the esper, though now slowly tilting her head from side to side.

"I'm sorry, but… Are you drunk, Miss Suika?"

The two of them looked at each other for a moment before Suika grinned. "Never been sober!" she declared, clapping him on the shoulder.

"Ah, I… see…"

"So, you seem like a polite enough guy," she continued, surprising the esper. "Met a few people from Outside from hanging 'round Reimu. Most of them are all 'Go play over there, girl,' or 'Who in their right mind gave a kid like you booze?' or 'Dear god what's going on? How did I get here?' and stuff. But you're just letting it roll, and gotta say I like that."

Shoulder aching surprisingly fast from the pats, Koizumi just nodded. "I'm glad to see that I haven't offended in some way. I don't wish to-"

The hand she was patting him with suddenly gripped down hard, and he struggled to keep from crying out.

"That smile, though…" The oni's tone had darkened. "I've seen that kinda smile before. It's smiles like that were on the humans that didn't do things fair, who didn't tell you if they were going to fight ya, who wouldn't even fight while they tried to get rid of you, and do it all while smiling. It's why we left, 'cause of smiles like that."

Koizumi forced himself to meet her eyes, which glowed from within as the very air seemed to heat and rumble. He grabbed at her wrist trying to push her away, but the oni barely moved from his efforts "I-I'm not…!"

"Now me, I'm willing to let bygones and all that. 'Sides, wasn't like it was you personally, I don't think. Humans don't usually live long enough for you to have been back then." She shrugged, the motion sending a jolt through Itsuki. "If you have secrets, fair enough. Got no problem with secrets to be honest. But if that's one of _those_ smiles … Reimu's an honest girl, and she fights good, and we oni respect that. So if it's not just secrets, and like those humans from back when, and she gets caught in it…"

"It's not! I promise! Please!" he hissed as she tightened her grip further. Suika relaxed her hold on him slightly, still keeping him trapped, but after a few more moments she nodded and let go.

"Ok!" she exclaimed, her smile back and voice now honestly happy. The oni brushed off his jacket where she had gripped him before stepping back, sending more twinges through him at the contact. "Sorry 'bout that! Just needed to make sure and all. Make up for it, how about some sake?"

Rubbing his shoulder, Koizumi shook his head, wondering if shifting away from her would be taken as an insult or not at this point. "A-ah… I am below the age limit for such…"

"Aw… that's no problem! C'mon!" She held out the gourd.

"There's also the fact that… Miss Hakurei and Mister Genjii will be returning with tea shortly. I wouldn't want to preempt as I already accepted her offer." Plus that he didn't think he would ever accept anything from the horned girl if he could help it.

Suika tilted her head and blinked in confusion. "Huh. Oh, yeah. That's what they were doing. Heh! No problem then. Maybe later! So, instead… Disperse!"

Koizumi twitched away for a moment as he felt his aching shoulder… ease away? Soon enough the pain had effectively evaporated into nothing. He looked over to the little oni questioningly, but having done whatever it had been, she was currently drinking again, taking big gulps from the gourd.

"Don't tip so much," he heard from inside as he tried to figure out how to view the whole confrontation. Settling himself, the esper turned to see Reimu and Genjii return, a tray with a teapot and cups resting on the floating turtle's back.

"I don't remember the halls being quite as narrow…" Genjii said. "Or perhaps I've gotten a bit stiff from resting in the pond for such a time. Maybe I should start exercising to keep limber…"

"Suika rebuilt it like it was, at least as far as I can tell," the miko said. "I think she even made the halls a bit wider, just so her horns wouldn't get stuck when she runs around…"

"Welcome back," Koizumi said, smiling.

"Ah, yeah. Ok, set down, old man." The elder male did so, smoothly lowering to the floorboards, and Reimu took the tray and placed it besides them. Settling back down herself, she began to pour for herself, Koizumi, and Genjii.

"So," she began after they all had a cup, "the old man says you have some things you have to tell me?"

Sneaking a quick glance at Suika, who was apparently now oblivious to everything but her gourd (and maybe some of the rice crackers that had been brought with the tea), Koizumi nodded. "At the very least it would help to explain my situation, so yes."

Taking one more sip of his tea, the esper placed the cup to the side before starting: "Now, I'm unsure as to how much interaction Gensokyou has with the world around it, as well as your own knowledge and part in it, I may have a few questions of my own during the course of this."

Reimu just shrugged, which Itsuki tentatively took as an acknowledgement of that detail. "Now then… to start, Genjii previously mentioned that you have the ability to transfer people across the veil that separates Gensokyou from that which you call the Outside. Due to that, I can presume that you have some sort of awareness as to things dealing with such?"

Reimu nodded lazily. "Kind of. I'm the current Hakurei Maiden, so one of the things I have to do is maintain it. If something big happens I can tell… usually. Like that big flash of light earlier, though to be honest probably half of the valley saw that anyway even if they don't know what it was. Probably thought it was Marisa, though."

"Indeed, though I shall have to take your word on that last detail. Regardless, as such I feel that it is only fair enough that I myself and some others from Outside have a similar role, though different in situation and execution."

That apparently caught Reimu off guard, as she spun to look at him in surprise before narrowing her eyes. "You don't really seem to be a priest, even an in-training one."

Itsuki bowed with a chuckle. "True enough. No… I and my peers in this are what is termed 'Espers,' and possess innate abilities tied to this task. In this, we have the ability to detect, enter, and collapse specialized pocket regions we refer to as 'Closed Space.'" He quickly held up his hand: "Not that that is the intent to my presence here. Not only was I unaware of this realm when I arrived in the corresponding area, but Closed Space is much different in nature than Gensokyou."

Reimu grimaced as he obviously forestalled her reaction to his explanation. "Go on…"

"To explain Closed Space, I must give some context as to how it forms. The Organization I am part of consists of Espers like myself who gained our abilities roughly three years back. After some necessary time spent in both practicing and confirming our new talents, and locating one another, we determined that the root cause of this empowerment was a single girl, Suzumiya Haruhi.

"Suzumiya is… if you will allow some interpretation… something of a demiurge. Tell me, roughly six or seven months ago, was there anything of note that you detected either from Outside or the membrane that separates it from here?"

The miko blinked, then closed her eyes and mumbled to herself for a few moments. "Oh, yeah," she said finally. "There was that storm when the oak out back got hit by lightning. I enshrined it to see if it would attract visitors, but when not enough people showed up I decided it wasn't worth it. Got scolded by Yukari for that, too." Reimu sighed for a moment before straightening back up. "She did mention something about the Barrier being affected or something, but that it had already been taken care of."

"I believe I've seen the tree," Koizumi said. "It's where I unintentionally passed into this realm. This is actually quite a good example, as it was likely at that time that Suzumiya almost recreated the world."

The three listening to him froze (followed by Suika having a small fit of coughing as some sake went down wrong).

"As I said, Suzumiya has the ability to alter reality, though she has no knowledge of her own power, and can only exhibit it unconsciously. A typical… relatively speaking… example of Closed Space is a byproduct of this, and perhaps could be considered a lesser version of the event that happened back then.

"Closed Space occurs when Suzumiya experiences a great deal of emotional turmoil. While in the normal course of events her power is more subtle, if not still as imposing, the formation of Closed Space is a preliminary step in a grand alteration of the world on a global scale."

Itsuki held out his hands, balling one into a fist and cupping it with the other. "While initially small… again, from a relative standpoint of course… there exist within giant entities we refer to as 'Celestials,' which are Suzumiya's frustrations, dissatisfaction, and stress given form. Closed Space initially reflects the corresponding area it forms at, albeit without human inhabitants, but then is destroyed by the Celestials. As this continues, the area the Closed Space encompasses grows and more Celestials form to continue and spread the process."

The balled hand began to open within the other, continuing until they his fingers on each were steepled.

"Should this continue unabated, Closed Space would envelop the entire world, and with the eventual destruction within leaving open the path for whatever grand reordering was desired." The 'Closed Space' hand now enveloped the 'World' hand, having exchanged their initial positions.

"So this… has happened, young Koizumi?" Genjii asked.

"Very nearly so." The esper put his hands back down in his lap. "In the end, it was… allowing for some dramatic wording… pulled from the very jaws of disaster by one whom in the end managed to convince Suzumiya to reconsider her position on the matter which had led to this occurrence."

"So what do you 'Espers' do in the meanwhile to prevent that kind of thing?" Reimu asked.

Smiling, he held out a hand, forming a ball of crimson energy. "While within Closed Space… or indeed, as some experimenting has shown, any altered region I've thus far encountered other than 'Outside…' we Espers have a set of abilities to combat the Celestials. Although in areas other than Closed Space we may not necessarily be privy to our full capabilities due to various circumstances. Regardless, by destroying the representation and conveyor of Suzumiya's stress, we act as a method of sympathetic catharsis to her immediate turmoil, thus ending an instance."

Reimu nodded. "So, what went wrong?"

Sighing and dismissing the sphere, Koizumi answered: "In all honesty, we were caught off guard. While the exact details would require more details and time than would be appropriate at the moment, suffice it to say that Suzumiya became exceedingly dissatisfied with the world to a degree that caused the very nature of Closed Space to change. Not only was the size and growth rate of the emergence bigger than any single one before, but we were prevented from entering altogether, removing the usage of our normal methods. In the end, the best we were able to do was pool all our power to attempt to pass on a message to the person who finally did succeed in reversing the incident."

For some odd reason, Reimu's mouth quirked into a small smile as he finished speaking. When she didn't add anything further, he continued to speak.

"Now, while I expect this is not exactly a light topic to have to discuss when we have only just met, but-"

"She's in Gensokyou, isn't she," Reimu interrupted, slumping down to rest her chin on one hand.

Koizumi nodded apologetically. "I would hazard so. We… that is, a group formed by Suzumiya at our school in the intent of searching for any sort of unnatural phenomena that I have become a part of… had recently come to the corresponding shrine of your own in the Outside world. While I arrived here alone, I do not doubt that the earlier event just before you saved me from my tumble from the back of Mister Genjii was the entry of one or more of that group."

Reimu groaned and leaned back onto the porch. "So, should I expect to see giants start appearing any time soon?"

"Actually, the chances of that are rather low," he replied. "A majority of Suzumiya's discontent is with the mundanity of the outer world. If arriving here in Gensokyou, it's likely that the transition itself, let alone any of the more…" He glanced between Genjii and Suika, "… unique inhabitants… would preclude the manifestation of Celestials."

"So we still only have the one we already got!" Suika snickered, earning a confused look from Koizumi and an annoyed one from Reimu.

"Well, there's that I suppose," the miko said. "So I don't have to beat her down for that. If she starts changing things around I'll still have to, though."

Itsuki choked on the tea he had begun sipping to wet his throat after his lengthy explanation. "'Beat her down'? Miss Hakurei…"

"Yeah, yeah. I'll beat her down gently, all right? Don't worry."

"That's… not quite as reassuring as you may think it is."

She rolled her eyes. "I'm in charge of making sure things in Gensokyou keep working like they should. She wants to come here and explore? Annoying, but not really something that bothers me on its own. Mostly. She starts messing with stuff, though? Then I have to go through the bother of fixing it and making sure it isn't going to happen again anytime soon. So making sure they know I'll be able to knock them around if they try again."

Koizumi shook his head. "I appreciate your responsibilities, but it's not as simple as you may think. As I said, while the Celestial giants are almost entirely unlikely to occur, her ability to manipulate her surroundings is… likely to expand enormously, even if she remains ignorant of them. She was previously constrained by her own self-rationalizing that certain things could not exist or happen; thus, any changes she initiated were either concealable, unable to be directly observed in the first place, or easy to pass off as being mere coincidence. This has kept her from more than wistful thinking and enacting large-scale manipulations.

"Here, however, there stands a fair chance that she will sooner or later come to the conclusion that anything is possible, especially if she ends up using her abilities to… influence her experience here to be more favorable for her. While hopefully it won't get so far, the possibility of it cascading into a self-realization of-"

"Doesn't matter. Look," Reimu leaned forward, "I've been dealing with that kind of nonsense for years. I have vampires who mess around with fate, with maids who pull all sorts of weird stuff with time. Youkai who's idea of saying hello is to pop out of a hole in the world while you're trying to enjoy a cup of tea." She glanced around suspiciously for a moment before continuing.

"Oni who get the idea of breaking the moon and put it back together because Setsubun annoys them." Suika chuckled loudly at that. "_Actual_ Celestials who happened to get bored and took everyone I've just mentioned as a _guideline_ and wrecked my shrine! And that isn't even the half of it. So yeah, this girl sounds a bit more annoying than usual. You say she isn't going to make trouble intentionally? Trust me, that's a welcome change. But even if that's the case if something does happen I'm going to just handle it like I always do."

"With danmaku!" the oni cheered, only to be hushed by Reimu.

Koizumi sat quietly for a few moments, considering. "It seems you have quite the bit of experience, then," he said finally.

Sighing, Reimu nodded. "More than I want. If I could just skip the whole thing it would be nice, but I can't. Especially since the Border's already been disturbed once by this whole thing."

"I suppose so."

The miko picked back up her tea, and took a brief sip before downing the remainder in one gulp. Standing, she gestured to Koizumi. "All right. So, let's see what you've got."

He blinked, confused. "I'm sorry?"

"If you're going to be here, you're going to need to know how to fight by the rules. And that means danmaku. You said that you destroy those giants the girl creates, but that's not going to fly in a Spell Card duel. So we have to see just what you can do first before some idiot youkai decides to pop up and be an annoyance if I'm not around, and teach you what you're supposed to do. Come on."

"Ooh! Ooh!" Suika hopped up and down, hand raised in the air. "Can I do it? I wanna see how he fights!"

"No," said Reimu flatly. "If it were up to you we'd all be punching each other in the face with explosions."

"What's your point?"

Reimu just put a hand to her head for a moment before turning back to face Koizumi, who was looking between the two with an increasingly apprehensive expression.

"If I may, perhaps an explanation of what 'danmaku' and 'Spell Cards' entail before any… tests?"

"Eh… it's easier just to show. Come on, I still need to see what your esper light can do."

"Miss Hakurei…"

"Just get it over with, or I _will_ let Suika be the one to teach you."

The esper very deliberately did not look at the deceptively small oni, instead pausing a moment before finishing off his tea much as Reimu had. Getting up off the porch, he moved opposite the miko in the yard. "Please go easy on me," he said politely.

"Good luck, young Koizumi, Lady Reimu," Genjii called from the sidelines, as Suika flopped down beside the turtle with a grin on her face.

"Thank you. When you're ready, I suppose, Miss Hakurei," Itsuki said.

"All right. So, let's see what you can do. Easier if I know what your abilities are in the first place." Reimu lifted off the ground and began to circle slowly around the esper. Bowing slightly, Koizumi summoned up another sphere of energy.

"Please be careful, Miss Hakurei," he called, tossing the sphere into the air before striking it like a handball.

"You hit the shrine and it's coming out of your hide," was the only comment Reimu made after simply dodging out of the way of the suddenly-accelerated projectile, and letting it crash far into the forest behind her. Koizumi began jogging to counter her movement, tossing another sphere at her.

This continued for about half a minute, Koizumi gradually increasing the speed of his attacks and starting to curve their movements a bit more, before Reimu sighed and held up a hand. Koizumi stopped, tilting his head as the miko grumbled to herself for a moment.

"Ok, seriously; if you're not going to actually show me what you can do you have no room to complain if I end up mussing up that girl more than I need to."

"Miss Hakurei?"

"You have to be holding back, or else those giants you fight are seriously weak. I know fairies that could dodge those attacks."

Itsuki rubbed the back of his head hesitantly. "You have me there, Miss Hakurei, but I'm just somewhat concerned for your well-being, as the tactics I typically am forced to use are rather…"

"Yeah, yeah. Well, if you don't want to show what you can do, I may as well start my end of this. Scattered Spirit: 'Fantasy Seal – Fader'."

Puzzled by the odd declaration, Koizumi only had a brief moment to watch Reimu pull what looked to be some sort of paper talisman or amulet before he had to dive out of the way as a veritable storm of the slips flew through the air towards him. Normally he wouldn't have been so concerned, but between how straight they were flying and the faint glow of power his senses were detecting, it likely was a prudent action.

A prudent action which almost got him in trouble as when he nearly missed spotting the barrage of white energy spheres the floating shrine maiden fired together with the end of the flurry of ofuda, these moving even faster than the other projectiles had been.

Even as the last spheres and talismans passed by, Koizumi felt a building pressure in the air. Reimu had drifted to the side as he had tried to avoid the barrage, and with a pulse of force she tossed another volley of paper and spheres. Trying to get more distance from the attacks' origin, the esper jumped back, red light flickering around him as he began to drift upward himself, also speeding up his movement. Suddenly, however, he felt a sharp pain in his side, and fell over as he recoiled from whatever had struck him.

Seeing him fall, Reimu brought her hands together and the spheres and energy in the talismans faded away. Landing back on the ground with a shake of her head, she strolled over to him. "Oi… Suika…" she drawled.

"Lazy!" the oni called back, but hopped off of the porch. Taking a quick mouthful from her gourd, she pointed at the ground. Koizumi, managing to prop himself back up, watched as the scattered and fallen paper rustle and leap back into the air. This time, however, the charms only flew into several stacks where Suika had pointed, which Reimu picked back up and stuffed into her sleeves as she passed.

"Call it punishment for whatever you did while I was making the tea."

"Aw… what makes you think I did anything?" pouted Suika.

"I guessed."

"Heh! Yeah, fair enough." Coming over as well, the oni looked on as Reimu pulled Koizumi back to his feet. "You went easy on him. Didn't even bother watching the second volley."

"Well if he's not going to do it right, why should I?"

"Eh… I suppose you're right. And you!" Pointing at the esper, Suika frowned. "You just jumped right into that! Do you even bother to look behind you? It was one of the slow ones, too!"

Itsuki stared at the two. "What was that? All… that!"

"Danmaku," the two chorused.

"It's how fights are settled now," Reimu continued. "Rather than simply overpowering your opponent, it's more like a duel."

She pulled out another slip of paper, this one different from the multitude she had attacked him with earlier. As it was held up, he could see the phrase she had used at the beginning of her assault written on the paper.

"Since youkai and humans can't just go around killing each other all the time, danmaku is used instead. Attacks are nonlethal, pretty much, and whoever wins has restrictions on what they can do with the loser. Youkai aren't allowed to kill or eat humans who they defeat, and likewise humans can't exorcise or kill youkai. That kind of thing."

"I… see…" Koizumi said. "So rather than larger, more damaging attacks, one uses waves of less powerful ones?"

Shrugging, Reimu nodded. "Size doesn't matter, though there's some etiquette. There has to be a chance of avoiding getting hit, so you can't just blast everything at once even if you have enough power to do that. Also, while most of the weak youkai and fairies just throw out a few shots, if you're powerful enough you should have Spell Cards like this." She shook the card, before stowing it away.

"If you are, you better make them interesting!" Suika said, smirking. "I wanna see how good a giant-killer you are!"

"You keep out of this. Anyway, Spell Cards record specific attacks, and have to be named. There are various rules to them as well, but first we need to get you more ready for danmaku in general, rather than 'giant-killing.'"

"In my defense, the two are hardly alike, outside of both being in the realm of combat."

"Which is why you need to learn how to do it right, so me or Yukari don't have to _make_ you learn why you're supposed to use the Spell Card system later." Reimu sighed, and looked up at the sky. "This is going to take all afternoon, at least."

"I apologize for the inconvenience," Koizumi replied.

"Eh, you can make up for it by helping out a bit while you're here. Chores or cooking or something. Or if you learn well enough to keep up maybe you can come along when I go looking for your friends; if you really don't want me knocking them around, if you can talk them out of whatever they might get up to it would save me the trouble."

Itsuki nodded. "That is something I would not object to, Miss Hakurei. It seems that I for the time being I shall continue to be in your care, then."

* * *

Author's Notes:

Mm… finally got this done. Somewhat of a 'talky' chapter, but considering that it's Koizumi you shouldn't be surprised.

C&C is welcomed, as always.


End file.
